Jayden

Healing......

2011-12-27T22:16:00.001-08:00

Hello Cupcake.

Yes I'm back. I've been gone for over 5 months. I needed a much needed break from talking about my life. Tonight I was going to facebook and I clicked on my blog by mistake. I felt like I had come across a photo of someone that had passed away. Feelings of guilt washed over me. I had left and never told you why I had stepped away.

I'm sitting in bed with my ankle still so swollen after my accident. Nearly two weeks ago I was leaving for work and it was pouring rain. As I was leaving the building and going down the back stairs it happened.

My left foot went out on the stairway and my right leg was pinned behind me as I went down a flight of stairs. I called my building manager and she helped me up. I was taken to the e.r. and its just been staying in bed and healing.

Its funny how once you can barely walk you are so helpless. It took me forever to get out of bed etc. I had to use a walker to get around my apartment. I'm now at the point where I'm limping, but walking a bit. Tonight I'm really warm and scared I'm coming down with a cold. Thats just what I need.

I've missed nearly three weeks of work and I'm getting tired of being in here so much. So tonight when I logged on here I saw that they had finally fixed the blogger issues as well. Another reason I had stayed away was due to the fact that it was so hard to use.

So pumpkin, how was your christmas or holidays? Mine was so quiet that it made my heart sad. I couldnt really get around and I was afraid of walking to much. Just taking a shower is a huge ordeal right now. Plus it was at my sisters and I didnt really feel so welcomed.

She had sent me an invite but as soon as I told her what had happened she agreed so fast that I shouldnt come that my head spun. I have not heard from her since. I mean is it that hard to ask if you're ok or how you're doing etc. Anyways enough of that nonsense.

Ok so there was a guy that I was MAD about for a short time. Went on a few dates and I felt myself falling hard. I'll call him Mr Hottie. He is sex on a stick with a nice fat one that drove me insane.

But as with all other guys I seem to fall for he had issues. More issues then a magazine. I had to step back and remind myself that I'm done with trying to save people. Thank god I saw the giant red flag and was able to put a lid on falling too far.

I finally got everything out of storage and my new place feels like home at last. Princess and Puss Puss 'my 2 cats' are doing great. We have been living here for almost seven months and they both seem to love their new home.

Puss puss will sometimes run to the front door and cry that he wants to go out. But living downtown I cant let him outside. They do have a perch in one of the windows that I put in for them to sit on,. They do love looking outside. Puss puss is not scared of the noises from the outside world now. And the only time he runs under the bed is when I vacum.

I know I have so much more to tell you. Its just that the pain meds make my mind a bit foggy. I have slowly started to go out again and I do enjoy myself. But now not being able to walk I'm kind of stuck here all day and night.

Tonight was just me saying hello and letting you know I'm back. You will be hearing from me alot more once again. So lover, how are you doing? Please feel free to leave me a message letting me know how you're doing. We shall chat soon. Look forward to hearing from you. But right now I need to log off here and get back to Healing......

Love Jayden, Princess and puss Puss.

Song for Healing

All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Not Getting Enough......

2011-07-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

Walking down the street. Checking the beat. Time is slipping away again. I still havent got a clue. They say cats got nine lives.I sure hope thats true. Cause I'm not getting enough, not getting enough.

Stars orbiting space suns rising on my face. Times have been really heavy and I'm feeling black and blue. They say cats got not nine lives. I sure hope thats not true.

Cause I'm not getting enough, not getting enough. I'm not getting enough, from life......

Intro......

Hello Moon Beam.

How are you doing today? I sure hope all is well and dandy in your life. How is everything going? Please do feel free to let me know. I'd like to thank everyone for all the sweet messages, Talbot for always beeing there. I know alot of people havent come back since I took that long break. But I'm hoping they will soon return.

Perfect......

Ok I must tell you something. I have a crush on someone. Oh I think he is just so fucking hot. My manties melt when I see him. Btw, manties are mens underwear. He is so my type. Pretty and rough. About 6ft with dark blond hair, tattoos, slim build and a smile that makes me giggle like a teen girl during a twilight movie.

We met a few weeks ago and I'm getting to know him more and more. And I think he would look so fantastic sitting on my face. Now in my opinion thats always a good sign. When the person your crushing would look good while sitting on ones face is always a plus.

Perhaps if we hook up I may just snap a pic of him doing that. And viola, my christmas card is born. Merry christmas indeed. I may put this inside the card. Oh 'hole'y night, LMAO!! My family doesnt know what to make of me anyways so why not really show them what makes me tick. Tick tock went the koo koo clock.

Days go by......

I really have nothing to complain about these days. I'm working like a dog. But I do manage to look stunning while doing so. But the other day I was once again hit by the, I'm missing my mom thing again.

It was just so odd that out of the blue it hit me and I almost started to cry. I just miss her so much. Her cooking, her dry sense of humor. And the just knowing that there was always someone there that had your back. I lost my mom and two of my best friends.

One died 'Ro' and one moved away 'Toby' after we had a massive falling out. I know that him being out of my life is for the best. But I do miss having that really close best friend in my life. You know, that person where you know what the other one is gonna say before they say it.

I'm just missing alot. But also very happy for alot as well. I still am a bit afraid. I sometimes feel so very alone. But being alone is not a horrid thing. Its just something thats going on in my life and I know it will change soon enough. Perhaps Perfect can cheer me up in that special way.

Giggles......

Did I tell you I'm so crushing on someone? 'GIGGLES' He makes me smile and I'm digging this feeling he gives me. But sometimes Dorthy I need a man. Oh sorry I slipped into Blanche from the golden girls.

I would love a date with Perfect. Maybe next week I will invite him over for dinner. My cooking btw is getting so good I'm shocking myself. Dinner, a movie, followed by a naked Perfect using me like a cheap blow up doll. Oh now thats what I would call a night.

The babys......

Well Princess and Puss Puss I fear are plotting to take over the world. They tend to spend alot of time napping in the dressing room that leads into my bathroom. There is a thick cushy rug in there that they love.

So this morning I walked in and they looked up at me. And they gave me that look like when you walk up on people that may have been chatting about you. They just looked so guilty. I may have to contact homeland security if this happens again. Princess is a smart one and give her some time and I know she could take over.

But for real, Puss Puss is doing so much better now. He hardly spends any time under the bed and he seems like his old self once again. Princess never freaked out when we moved. She seemed fine from the second she got here. Like I said, give her time and she will soon take over.

My new hood......

I have been exploring my new neighborhood. There are so many great little cafes and resturants and clubs all in walking distance from me. I need to find a new place to get a mani pedi soon. I'm really picky about that so I will really have to do my research.

Oh and I still havent seen the new harry potter movie. Maybe next week I will go. Its just that my one day off a week is when I just do nothing and I enjoy that. Maybe I will ask Perfect if he wants to see it with me.

The Outro......

Well pumpkin. I wish I had much more to tell you. But besides working six days a week I dont do much else. I get up feed the kids. Get ready and go to work. I come home and feed the cats and myself and just unwind.

I really do live the glamourous life dont I? Next week I will make my move on Perfect. I just hope he doesnt shoot me down. I really dont wanna feel like the ugly girl in bad shoes by the punch bowl at a school dance. Oh the horror of it all. I just wanna share myself with Perfect. Oh who am I kidding? I want Perfect to do filthy, wicked, nasty things to me. Cause to be honest with you. I'm not getting enough......

Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss.

Tune for not getting enough

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Open Your Box......

2011-07-28T21:13:00.001-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Life is cold. The windows cold. You're eyes are cold. The Moneys hot. Life is hot. The dreams are hot. Give me something thats not cold. Give me something thats not hot. I gave you my heartbeat please dont turn away. I gave you my heartbeat dont throw it away. I gave you my heartbeat you can have it, you can have it. You're eyes are cold. The windows cold. Souls are cold. Please dont go. I gave you my heartbeat you can have it, you can have it........ . Hello Lollipop. First off let me tell you how fucked up google blogger is. I log on but the main page lists me as not logged on. So I had to find away to write using the edit page. Plus I have no idea when I have mail here now. Oh its a huge pain in my ass. But I'm hoping the skid marks at google fix it soon. . Meow . Last time we chatted I told you how poor lil puss puss was so freaked out about the move. He is now spending about 98% of his days out from under the bed. I was getting very worried about him. I almost took him to a vet to make sure he was ok. He and Princess are both curled up together sleeping right now. . Rolling on . My life is just rolling on. I seem to be working so much that I have no time for a real life. I get home and feed the kids and myself and then I collapse in a heap. Starting in a few weeks I'm gonna have to cut back to working five days a week. Working six days a week is getting to me. Plus I wanna start going back out and getting shit faced, lol. It's been so long since I had a drunken night out on the town. So I think spetember is when I shall cut back. I'm almost out of the no money hole. Just 2 more weeks and I'm there. I cant wait to just 'be' once again. No more deaths, no more being poor, no more this and no more that. The only thing missing is love. I wanna find love. I'm sure its around the corner. I just need to find the right street its hiding on. . Ring Ring, Hello. . It's funny to me how life works. When you're down in the pits of hell. It seems your phone never rings. But once you have climbed out of said hole. Well ya your phone once again rings. Since my life is once again on the right track I have heard from 2 friends from my past. J.J. called me a week or so back and we had not chatted in close to five years. She and I met when I was in malibu. We had so much fun hanging out and laughing at all the stupid people in malibu. We had just lost touch and there was no big drama in why we stopped chatting. My other friend you may remember from our chats. I used to call him slutena. Oh and remember, Whorena? Well he and are once again friends. So today my phome rings and its slutena. We had not talked in almost a year. We did have a falling out. But water under the bridge etc etc. I just dont have time in my life for anger these days. We chatted for sometime and it was nice hearing from him. So that really makes it three people not two. Its just funny how life has away of patting you on the back. I mean my life has been 2 years of hell. So I guess this is a way of saying, you hung in there, good for you. . Things n Stuff . I went to my storage unit on tuesday to pull things out for my new place. Have you ever had a day when it felt like you were walking through thick mud? This was one of those days. I got there a little after 1pm and I just couldnt get it together. I didnt bring anything to eat and I would look at the time and another hour would just whizz on by. Then I got dizzy because I had not eaten. I finally got the stuff I wanted in my car and off I went. I bought myself dinner and it hit me that I had forgotten my favorite dishes. So I guess I'm gonna have to go back once again. I have to get rid of a ton of things that I dont have room for. Tables chairs etc. I went from a pretty big two bedroom place to a smaller loft. Oh I'll figure it all out. . Dull as dishwater . All work and no play makes Jayden a dull boy. And aint that the muther fucking truth? I swear my dick is gonna dry up and fall off if I dont get laid soon. Give me something thats hot indeed. Its tourture in one of the accounts I work in. Its wall to wall hot men. Jocks, hunks and hottness that makes your coochie swell all up. But just my luck. They are for the most part, straight up, not with a twist. If ya know what I mean. Hotties as far as the eye can see. But they dont wanna play in my bed of roses, boo hoo! Oh god I'm gonna become one of those old queens with a perm and man clogs. Oh sweet jesus dont let that happen to me. So do you now see why I must take my ass out on the town? . Its a wrap . Well sugar plumb. Lets see here. We chatted about my job. My no love life. The cats and friends. I think thats about it for now. I have to work on some spread sheets for my part time job now. All I do is work n work n work. And to be honest with you. I'm fucking over it. So open up your trash bin and let me throw my work life in it. Please for me will you do it? Just Open your box.......... Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss. . Tune for open your box . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris

C H I C

2011-07-07T21:39:00.001-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chic, C'est la Vie. The times in life that you need to throw your hands in the air and say, I surrender. The little things can take you down. So it's best to brush them off.

Chic, C'est la vie. You know you hold the key. Find your dreams within yourself and live with dignity. Money power and romance are waiting for us all. Live the life you wanna live theres no sympathy. Chic C'est la vie......

Hello Angel Cake.

I have been gone for almost three months. No I didnt die, lol. I'm still here, standing and once again rising to the sky. Soooooooo much happened to me that I just had to take a massive break from writing. I had no way to chat about it as it was coming so fast at me.

Sad, Sad, Sad......

Ok so what started this was this. I had been talking to one of my best friends Rochelle. She had told me she had not been feeling good. I finally got her to go to the e.r. She was there for over four hours and was given a clean bill of health.

She was afraid that she might be having another stroke. But they ran test after test on her and was told all was good. So I drove her home and told her I would see her the following day for dinner.

I worked that day and as I was leaving I got a text from her friend Michelle asking me if Rochelle was ok. I told her she had been checked out the night before and was given a clean bill of health.

Michelle told me she couldnt reach Rochelle and was freaked out. So after work I drove to Rochelles and knocked on the door, no answer. I let myself in as I knew where she hid her key. I called her name but no answer.

I went into her room and the tv and air were on and I called her name. I thought she was sleeping. I went to shake her awake but as I leaned in I saw her face and I knew right away that she had died.

I cried out her name, Rochelle no you cant die, please wake up. I called 911 and was told by the person on the phone to pull it together as I would have to talk to the police etc. The ambulance was there in minutes and they knew she was dead and there was nothing they could do.

One of the police officers found her cell phone charging and I told him I had no numbers of her family to contact. He went into her phone and I told him her brothers name and he rang the number.

I was at the house for hours. When I left I was dazed and numb. It was horrid. First my mom dies and now one of my best and dearest friends. I had written of her in here many times as Ro. For weeks I felt so lost and alone. But I knew I had to push forward, so I did.

Changes......

I took a hard as hell look at my life and said, ok time to get off your ass and live the life you want. So I packed up my place and took Princess and Puss Puss and we moved into a small loft in Downtown.

I was scared at first but knew in my heart I had to do this for myself. I'm not a person that likes living in a quiet mom and pop area. So I'm now living in downtown and loving life. I miss my friend rochelle so much. She had almost become a second mom to me. But I knew this was something she would have loved to see me do.

Its weird living here as I can hear the trains going by. The hustle and bustle of life downtown is so crazy compared to where I had been. But I now have chic little cafes and coffee houses all around me.

For the first time since my mom died I'm starting to feel like me again. I'm losing my depression weight. I'm back to getting my life where I want it to be.

City life......

Princess took to our new place fast as fuck. But poor Puss Puss is having a hard time here. He hides under the bed most of the time and he looks shell shocked. I feel bad for him but I couldnt have just left him where I had found him ' at my last place'.

I hope he will adjust in time. If he stays this way for much longer I'm calling a vet to see what I can do for him. He eats and drinks water and uses the cat box. But as soon as he hears a loud noise like a truck etc he runs under the bed.

He will come out for a few hours and he just gives me a look like, what the fuck!! I'm hoping he takes to the new place soon. I wont give up on him as he is part of my lil family. And he and Princess are best friends.

The rest......

Work is going great and the money is good as well. Which is a good thing cause I wiped myself out moving here. But it was always my dream to move downtown and live life on my terms.

I'm so close to an aunt of mine now. But sadly I have not spoken to my sister in months. But I've let her go and wish her the best. But holding onto hatred was stupid and not healthy for me.

Every night when I come home I just smile. I did it, I'm living the life I always wanted. I still need to buy new couches and a coffee table and then I'm done. I'm missing my friend Rochelle like crazy. But I know she sees me living my new life and shes smiling.

Life is once again good and my heart feels the sunshine again. I smile for no reason and I catch myself singing all the time. I love my life and I no longer fear my future. And isnt that what makes life just so Chic?......

Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss.

Tune for chic

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Unfinished Business......

2011-04-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

Boy I know your secrets though you brag and swagger and you lay the woman down. Your the same tough guy that cried in my arms and kissed me when the lights went down.

I hear you married some pretty girl. I'm so glad that it wasnt me. Cause your like so many of those boys I know, you break your promise easily. Unfinished business fox in the headlights, tears for what might have been.

Unfinished business crawling out of the woodwork, you know how to ruin a good dream. See your life reflected in my painted eyes. These memories are hard to shake.

I pressed my lips against your trembling flesh. And waited for your back to break. You liar you coward you sleeping fool. Hey dont you know that secrets kill. Heaven and hell are right here on earth. Decided by your own free will.

Go tell your friends that I'm mad in my head that I dont know what I mean. You walk like jack and you love like mary and your more then a bit of a queen. Unfinished business you know exactly what I mean.

You lie, you lie, you lie, you lie. Unfinished business ya tough guy you know exactly what I mean. Unfinished business fox in the headlights tears for what might have been. I know how to ruin a good dream......

Hello Cookie.

How are you doing today? I hope all is groovy and swinging in your life. How was your day today? Mine was long and hard. But not the long and hard good kind. If ya know what I mean.

Today I got to thinking about all the unfinished business in my life. Number one is my book. I cant seem to get whats up in my head in written form. Much unfinished business when it comes to men as well.

Men really do come and go. Its just trying to rid yourself of their memories is the hard part. As you know I seem to attract confused men into my world. I'm told its because I can be rather androgynous looking at times.

So I seem to get men that wanna dip a toe into the gay pool. Now I dont mind this fact at all. Its just when I get into deep and cant find away out of the pool is when I get into trouble.

You know of course about T.J. Just a sweet wonderful man that enjoys swimming with me from time to time. I adore him but he only dips his toe in from time to time. The rest of the time he enjoys his nights with two big ol silicone fun bags attached to a swedish penthouse model.

My wit and charm just cant compete with those fun pillows. So I see him when he wants and thats just that. Now lets chat about 'Mr Surf'. A great big douche bag that hides behind a sweet smile and even sweeter words.

But like most of the men that swim in the rainbow pool from time to time. He couldnt handle his feelings and ran for the hills of douche bag land. See I call it that because in douche bag land they have no phones or computers etc. They just cant contact you.

Seems right after they pop their corks the guilt takes over and you become casper the mother fucking ghost. Oh yes lets get to the shit shall we? This pretty lil muther fucker made some big promises to my ass.

And when I say ass, thats pretty much the area he was taking a stroll in when he made said promises. See I dont give a royal hat at the wedding shit about a guy not calling or sending flowers or any of that hoo ha.

What bugs me the most is when the friendship just rolls into the grave because you sucked his man candy and he cant handle the guilt. Ok spare me a fucking red river here. Pop the cork and lets chill. No reason to just one day cut me out of your life like a bad perm from the 1980's.

Ya so we had a few rolls in the hay. I never asked you for a ring a picket fence etc. Your the one that told me you wanted to do this and that etc, etc, etc and one more muther fucking etc for good measure.

See Mr Surf was scared to death his friends in the tool shed were gonna find out about his secret life. I assured him over and over I wouldnt breathe a word of what was going on to ANYONE. And I kept my word, until now. Oh ya I'm a bitter fucking swamp hag right now.

How do you just wake up and erase someone from your life that you have known for years? Was your fear that great that people would find out what was going on late at night. Or was it the fear that your already shaky marriage couldnt handle another crack?

Unfinished business indeed my 'friend'. And yes I know Mr Surf reads the blog. I would never ever in a million years ruin anyones life. I just want an answer on how you can just shut someone out and move on like you just removed something from you teeth.

Your silence speaks volumes about you as a person. And what kills me is that you were the one throwing around all the big promises. Life goes on and I hope you and your new wife are very happy.

But my dear sweet tan lil friend. The next time you wanna go for a late night swim. Just know that this pool is now closed to you. please take your surf board and hang ten or should I say hang 6 elsewhere.

Unfinished business has a way of working its self out doesnt it? I mean you can go scream your lungs out. Or you can punch a wall in. Or you can simply choose to write a blog. Now thats just a divine way to let go of unwanted douche tools.

Unfinished business no more. Next time your drunk and crying your eyes out in your fancy house. Puh-leaze refrain from giving me a call. Your private life drama bores me to death.

I cant tell you how good this felt. I loved coming in here and chatting with you about this whole silly surf drama. Its now been put to bed and I hope that is the end of that messy ugly wipe out.

Well my beautiful pumpkin. How are you doing. Is all well n wonderful in your world? I hope your doing great and that you feel blessed everyday in your life. I have much to do tonight so I better be getting it done. I just hate having, Unfinished Business......

Love Jayden, Princess n Puss Puss.

Tune for unfinished business

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Angel Love......

2011-04-29T23:36:00.000-07:00

Your on my mind living in my soul. A moment in time and never letting go. The air we breathe smells like love. Your melody makes me sing a sweet song. and I just cant believe that you've been sent to me from above.

And I just cant wait to feel your sunshine down on me from above. Here we are now in the rhythm that we found. Deep in the sound music is all around.

The air we breathe smells like love. Your melody makes me sing a sweet song. Your energy is heaven. I've waited for you all of my life. The only thing that I need is the air that we breathe,feel your sunshine. You're my Angel Love......

Hello Angel.

How are you doing on this beautiful warm and wonderful day? As you know I have been away for alomost a month. I really just needed to catch my breath and take a break from writing.

I'm reclaiming my old life back as well. Things are starting to once agin fall back into place for me. And it feels wonderful. If you have been here with me for these past almost 2 years then you know the ups and downs my life has taken.

From Princess coming into my life and losing my mom etc you know the hills I have been climbing. But I really needed a break to just live and smell the roses. I have also been working my ass off.

I'm working my part time job and my full time gig and still booking freelance work. I'm trying to get my bank account back to a healthy place once again. Cause the bitch was just about dead, lol. My new job is great, just a tad boring to be honest with you. The people I deal with are fine, but just a tad boring as well. But I'm very thankful to be working and bringing that juicy bacon back home.

Cause you know moma loves that bacon, oh yes sir. So much has been going on. And I dont want to bore you with a day to day recall so I will jump in and just start rambling away.

The other day I woke up and it was heaven on earth outside. So I fed the kids and got in my car and took off. I drove to redondo beach, parked and walked around. I bought lunch and ate it on the pier.

It was such a beautiful day and I sat there and just was so thankful to be there. The one thing this past year or so has taught me was to be thankful for all the little things life gives you.

I walked around the beach and watched the ocean the birds and all the hot guys everywhere. Wall to wall beautiful men in tank tops, shirtless in shorts etc. It was like an all you can eat buffet for the eyes.

I just enjoyed my day and had a great time. I snapped a few photos that I will post here. Mr Perfect has not been around and I havent chatted with him for about two weeks. I think he has been working alot and also I think he is out of town.

My new job is great in that I meet alot of men. I'm really not in the same place more then a day or two and then its on to the next place. So I have been meeting some really great people.

One guy who I will call blue eyes is such a doll. Whenever I'm in that one account he finds me and just chats away. He is a bit to young for my taste, he is 22. But he has a great smile and these beautiful blue eyes that just sparkle. I just want to jump into them.

But again he is to young. I really like a guy that has more life in him. I dont want to teach anyone about life to be honest. After this past year I'm looking for an equal in the life department. Someone that has his head screwed on tight with a job and no kids, lol.

My birthday is coming up 'May18th' and I'm planning on going out that tuesday before. I will be heading to Mr Blacks at Bardot. One of my fave places to go out to. I stopped going after my life crashed and burned. But I'm ready to once again go back.

For the first time in awhile I want to go out and celebrate my birthday. I havent done that for a few years. My fave was one year when my friend Toby got the lounge of a club for me. His friends owned the club and we got the whole front of it. They had balloons and my mom had went and got a beautiful cake made. Not to long ago I came across the reciept for that cake and I once again missed her. Here it is over a year since she passed away and I still find myself wanting to call her or buy her something I see.

Losing my mom was and is the hardest thing I have had to go through. We were very close and it still feels so raw to me. I've always thought of myself as such an independent person. But after losing her I see how much I miss having a someone in my life who knows me really well.

I just want to be sure the next guy I let into my life isnt a user loser. Or on drugs or some silly queen obsessed with himself. Or even worse obsessed with a singer, actor etc. I call them the obsessed fans. And they are a scary bunch and should be avoided at all costs, lol.

I have had my days of wild parties drugs etc. And I dont want to date anyone whose idea of a good time is staying out till 6am high as a kite. Been there done that, next! I think the point I want to make is that I'm letting the universe know I'm ready and waiting for love. I think if you send the idea off into the universe it has a way of coming true. Is that weird and does it make sense?

This past week was a brutal one for me. With just one day off I was feeling a bit rundown. But I have to remember that its all about playing catch up right now. Love having money coming back in once again.

So tell me angel what you have been up to. You know how much I love hearing from you. So please leave me a message here. I have to get ready for tomorrow as I'm working. I love saying that, lol. I'm back and will be around more for our chats. Untill next time remember that you're my Angel Love......

Love Jayden, Princess n Puss Puss.

Tune for angel love

Blog Header Created By Boris.

I got nine lives like a kitty cat......

2011-04-05T22:20:00.001-07:00

Living and surviving can be at times a huge battle. I'm only telling you this in hopes that you wont tattle. Pouring out my heart really sets me free. We chat and gossip and I can really let my hair down. Its nothing to get sad about. Look at me, do you see a frown?

Its the middle of the week and I need to chat. Dont look to close. I havent been to the gym and I'm feeling bloated and fat. I need to get out and spread my wings. I wanna do dinner and dance and all those sort of things.

I think you can understand what I mean. I need to go out and be seen. I try to not let life kick my ass. But I gotta tell you its a tough task.

Just smile I say and move on. I think I'll sing and dance till the light of dawn. I'm heading downtown where the fun is at. Cause baby I got nine lives like a kitty cat......

Hello Kitten.

How are you doing today? It was a beautiful day here today. 85 with clear blue skies. Just one of those days where you wanted to give the world a giant hug and kiss.

I spent much of the day getting my hair did. Every couple of months I have to get my blonde punched back up. So Dana who now does my hair used a new color on my by clairol. Its made with soy and I was worried I'd end up looking dull blonde.

But this stuff kicked ass and I'm back to being a sun kissed blond with out the harm of the sun. So on a beautiful day I was under a dryer with a head full of foil. The price of beauty I guess. And now I'm a happy camper with tre blond hair.

Sunday it was so beautiful here. I went and worked my part time job and I have to tell you that for the first time in ages I felt like the old me. Well not old as in wrinkles and grey hair.

After all I do live in los angeles and its against the law to age here, lol. Oh I got great news to share. I was hired full time. But I know I told you that. But I had to take a drug test and it was a slap in my face. I felt like I had done something bad even tho I know I hadnt.

I get to the lab to take the test and filled out my paperwork etc. Then I had to empty all my pockets etc. I was put in a bathroom with no sink and a toliet you couldnt flush. I took a piss in the plastic cup and was then allowed to wash my hands in this other room. Then I was on my way.

I swear I felt like I was trying to get a job with the CIA. Instead of a job with a skincare cosmetic company. So I have been sitting around waiting to hear if I passed etc. They also ran a full background check as well.

So monday I finally heard that I had passed with flying colors. I guess its been weighing on me alot more then I had thought. And another thing was I just lost my voice. I just had no desire to come in here and chat. I was thinking really hard about just closing my blog up and putting it to bed.

But today as I was washing some dishes my voice came back out of nowhere and here I am once again yammering my brains out to you. I know people come in here for a visit. I know because there is a counter attached to the blog at the bottom of the page.

Its just that so few that come for a visit leave me a message. I sometimes wonder who is here and who cares. So this is my way of asking you if your reading this to please say hello.

Tomorrow I'm going to do my part time job and then I'm having dinner with my aunt. Then I start my training with the new job on friday. I have a three day training and then I get my full schedule.

One thing I'm gonna save up for is a trip to maui in december. I want to go there during the holidays and just relax and not deal with the holiday nonsense that takes over america every year. All that fake holiday cheer gives me the hives. It really does.

I have been hanging out alot with S.T. Dinners etc. Such a sweet man with something sweet that I crave. If you know what I mean, lol. I have also been seeing alot of Tony as well. I have just been keeping busy. I just need to sit my fat ass down and start writing my book. Its in me and its ready to jump out and make its debut. So I guess the only thing for me to do is just do my outline and then start writing.

I know I can do it, I just need to do it. I have started to work out once again and I gotta tell you my body is none to happy with what I'm putting it through. But I know the end results will be worth it.

So pumpkin how are you doing? I hope all is well and wonderful in your world. You must tell me what you have been up to. Just sit your ass down and drop me a line here. I have to run as I have a million things I have to get done. I'm a busy bee these days. A busy bee with a smile on its face. But I guess with all the downs I had it was bound to get better.

I fell for awhile but I got back up. Dusted myself off and kept on pushing. And I did just that. After all, I got nine lives like a kitty cat......

Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss

Tune for nine lives

All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Remembering Elizabeth......

2011-03-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of working with Dame Elizabeth Taylor once. And I will forever cherish the memory. I was working as a personal assistant to actress Renee Taylor on a sitcom. And one day we all got word that Elizabeth would be on the show along with a list of donts.

You were not to call her Liz, ask for an autograph, ask to take her picture, talk to her etc. The show taped on a friday but Elizabeth came on thursday to film. I guess the producers didnt want the public blabbing to the tabloids about her filming.

On the day Elizabeth would be filming Renee and I worked out a system on how I would be able to meet her. So we get to the set and Elizabeths entourage was all there.

There was a woman that just held her dog sugar. This woman would hold the dog as well as one of those insulated lunch bags. Being the nosey person that I am, I kept my eye on this woman.

There was her personal photographer, hair person 'Jose Eber' Make up person and assistants. If anyone from the cast, producers etc wanted a photo with Elizabeth her photographer would snap a few photos.

You then gave him the address to send the photos and they would be sent at a latter date. So Renee poses with Elizabeth and the picture was taken. Now fast forward a few weeks and the photo arrives.

Renee was laughing and I asked her what was so funny. She handed me the photo and in it Elizabeth had clearly been re touched. She looked stunning and young. But they didnt re touch Renee and she felt she looked awful next to Elizabeth.

Renee would not display the photo as she felt she looked old next to Miss Taylor. So I suggested she get the photo retouched on her as well. Renee loved that idea and put the project in my hands.

After doing some research I found out Ray the retoucher was the best. So I take the photo in and told them what was to be done on the photo. The picture was ready a few days later and off I went to pick it up.

When I got the photo I was amazed at how stunning Renee now looked in the picture. Double chins, bags, stomach were all gone by the magic of a retoucher.

I took the photo to Renee and the smile on her face was priceless. The photo was now ready to be framed and displayed in the house. Thats when I first learned about photo retouching etc.

Ok so now back to the set.

So I went into the makeup room to run lines with Renee and no Elizabeth. I asked where she might be and one of the makeup artists told me Elizabeth would be coming to the set in full makeup.

I went on to the set to get Renee some tea and saw the dog lady put Sugar down and open up that lunch bag. Out came a crystal goblet and a bottle of water. She put the goblet down and filled it with the bottle of water.

Sugar drank some of the water and then the goblet was dried and put back in the lunch bag. I stood there with a huge smile on my face. I couldnt believe that a woman made her living holding a dog and its water.

So I went back into the makeup room and told Renee what I had just seen. She smiled and we both had a laugh at it. Word had gotten around that Elizabeth was finally on set. So Renee and I head out on the set to get ready to film and there she was. Looking every inch the legend that she was.

She came with two security guards in suits. I just stood there and took every inch of her in. I noticed she had trouble walking and every step seemed to be an effort. It turned out that Renee and her husband Joe Bologna had written the episode of Heres Lucy that Elizabeth had been on years earlier.

So they get ready to film her scene and everyone was in place. I noticed that they never filmed Elizabeth walking. The scene was Fran would open the door and gush about there being Elizabeth Taylor.

Then Renee would be found hiding in the closet and then they cut to everyone but Elizabeth walking to the couch. A quick cut and then Elizabeth was seen already sitting. The had put a board behind the couch pillows for Elizabeth as it made it more comfortable for her.

So after a few takes they were getting set up for the next shot. I heard Renee scream out my name as we had planned. I ran to her and she asked me if her face needed powder. I told her it did not and then she turned and said.

Elizabeth I would like you to meet my assistant Jayden. She put her hand out and that massive diamond caught my eye. I gently shook her hand and told her it was a pleasure to meet her.

I have no idea what she said back as my head was in a fog from being around a living legend. And then it was over and I walked off the set and watched the rest of the scene being filmed.

I told all my friends and family this story and I wanted to share it with you as well. I will forever cherish meeting a woman that fought so hard for aids research long before it was accepted. I hope that she is now in a place where she no longer feels any pain and is having a wonderful cocktail.

RIP Dame Elizabeth Taylor.

And thank you for a wonderful memory that I will forever cherish.

Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Show Me......

2011-03-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . Show me all your world of wonder. All the things that make me shake and thunder. All your happiness joy and sorrow. Its those things about you that I need to borrow. All your pretty shiny happy toys. Its your pretty smile that brings me such joy. Show me that you'll stay. I'd wilt and die if you were to stray. So just please, Show Me...... . Hello Angel. How are you doing today? I hope all is well and wonderful in your world today. So yesterday remember how I was telling you about finding my feet in here? Well I asked the universe to Show Me the way, and it did. So I'm going with whats in my head and I hope you like it and will still follow me on my journey through life. Its about finding balance. And today as I was driving around the answer hit me. So anyways, wanna hear about that interview I went on today? Well I wake up and start my day and Princess was just a giant love ball this morning. She wanted love from her daddy and I gave it to her. She loves to cuddle and looks like she is in heaven. So both Princess and I started our day, Puss Puss gets up later then everyone else. I get showered dressed and leave for the interview. I had put the address in my gps wrong and it took me to a strip joint. Now I dont have the silicone knockers for that kinda job so I called to see where they were located. I was there really early and went inside. I do that so I can sit there and scope out the people there etc. I got a swarmy vibe from the place. Like I wouldnt have been shocked to see the fbi come in there with a warrant. It had an odd vibe to it. I noticed a much older woman sitting there. She heard my name and said it was a great one. I thanked her and sized her up. Cheap shows, purse and clothes that had seen better days. A sweet woman but I call it like I see it. So she goes in an office for her interview and I just watched the people that worked there. Nobody seemed to be doing much of anything. So it was my turna nd I met the girl doing the interview. Sweet lady but bad makeup, hair etc. So I sit down and getting information out of her about the job was like pulling teeth. Finally she tells me that the job was selling left over merchandise 'sports game tickets' etc at different venues. On hearing that I stood up and thanked her for her time and turned around to leave. She asked why I was leaving and I told her that this job was listed and told to me that it was a marketing job. She then tells me how I could move up fast etc. It was all just to swarmy and weird to me so I left. Just as my ass is hitting the seat of my car the phone rings. I pick up and it was job number two from friday. I was offered a job and we discussed salary etc. I start next week. Thats right baby, I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!! Now its not my dream job. But its money coming back in and not having to worry or get hand outs from my ex Tony. I have to have a background run on me as well as take a drug test. I think I should pass with flying colors. I did a little coke on holiday in miami. But that was weeks ago. I dont think that stuff stays with you for long. And my background is beyond clean. I have my training next week and then I'm on my own. Its for a skin care cosmetic brand. I will be selling in different accounts and wont be having people breathing down my neck all day long. I came home and told Princess the good news and she and I danced in the living room together. In my mind she was wearing a french can can girl outfit. With the big hat as well. So I called everyone I knew that was waiting to hear and told them the good news. I was beginning to fell like a mopey marsha. The girl always boo hooing on the other end of the phone. Finally I was able to call people with some good news. And you know what? It felt really good. I was going to go out tonight and celebrate. But I'll wait a few weeks after I can go in for a few touch ups on my face. Its a secret so dont ask, lol. But I do get some minor tune ups on my face. . My Tips . People always ask me what my secret to having great skin is. 1st off to me staying out of the sun at all costs is a must. Imo white folks have no business laying in the sun like fools. Sure if you wanna age fast and get skin cancer then have at it. If I do go in the sun I wear a sunscreen made by La Roche Posay. Its an spf 60 and works like a charm. Also drink a ton of water. It really does help with the skin. Also keep your skin clean and mosturize. Even if you have oily skin you must mosturize. I like a few. I love Dramatic radinace by ddf. And one by Dr Jessica Wu. Find what works for you and stick with it. Oh and if you smoke, dont. Smoking can age a person faster then anything else other then meth. So no sun and no smoking, M'kay? . Wrap it up. . I cant even tell you how happy I am to be going back to work. I think good news is alot like rain. When it starts to come down. It can then start to pour. And I just hope the good news starts to pour in. I havent heard from you in sometime. Is there a reason your not leaving me a message? Please leave me a message lettine me know how your doing. I want to hear from you soon. Any news ok? I look forward to hearing from you. Just do it right now, Show Me...... Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss.

Tune for show me

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Things n Stuff n Stuff n Things......

2011-03-21T22:56:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . Things n stuff n stuff n things n stuff. Its about all the things you want, need, have to have. Sock it to me biscuit. Wanting it so bad you think you may die if you dont get it. Its all about the things n stuff n stuff n things...... . Hello Biscuit. How are you doing today? I hope all is well and wonderful in your world today. Sorry I never stopped by on saturday to fill you in about my interviews. The first one went fantastic. It was supposed to last 45 mins but went over two hours. After that one was over I was starving. I nearly ate the seat in my car, lol. I grabbed lunch and then called the person for my 2nd interview. This guy is so fucking hard to pin down for a time to meet. He is really getting on my last nerve to be honest with you. Its always, call me on this day so we can meet. So I call him and he doesnt pick up his phone. Or he is in a meeting etc. How on earth are you going to launch a product if you are not around? Then today I had an interview that was a total joke. The amount of money offered was an insult. I could tell the woman was embarrassed putting that offer out there. I got a call back from my 1st interview but at this point were playing phone tag. I have another interview tomorrow as well. Its just starting to give me a headache to be honest with you. They know my background etc. So to get me in and then offer me an amount of money I may have taken right out of school is just plain rude. I'm just keeping all options open at this time. . The Things . Ok so yesterday I was cleaning out my makeup kits, I have four. I always keep them updated on colors etc. And to make sure nothing has turned bad. My kits are my tools and its how I make money. And mind you these kits have been around the world with me. I remember one time coming back from a job in hawaii and checking my kits in. Well they opened up those babys and went through everything piece by piece. Like the lip sticks were weapons, lol. And it can be brutal if you get a woman going through your kits if they like the makeup. I had one heffer in atlanta that was trying to pocket stuff, the nerve! I'm just lucky that I have friends in the biz that give me lots of free goodies. And who the hell doesnt like some free goodies. The cost of keeping up a kit can be huge. If green comes in for eyes, then you gotta stock up on green. Thats why I love a good freebie. . The Stuff . Some of the stuff I'm obsessed with right now would be. Pixis Peach under eye concentrate. Also by pixi I'm loving the lip twins. In the cap is a lipstick. And then there is a gloss as well. One thing I could NOT live with out would be my Kiehl's Imperiale Repairateur Moisturizing Eye balm. Now I do not want to sound like I'm selling shit here. But so many people ask me what I like and what I use etc. So I'm letting you have all that information. There are so many tricks that I use when I'm doing someones makeup. A good eye creme can save your ass. If a woman is a heavy smoker or loves the sun. Then for the most part her skin will look dried up and leather like. And the makeup will look like makeup sitting on dried out skin. . The easy way out? . Many of you have been stopping in here for our chats for over two years now. And you also know I'm still trying to find my footing. Footing in life and footing in here. For the last month or so I have been looking at alot of blogs. Gay blogs etc. And for the most part I find so many to be lazy and boring. So many just slap up pictures of porn stars and call it a night. I do not want to be that blog. So you may have noticed I'm tweaking it here and there. I want to share my life with you. And in my life there is so much more to me then sex and penis. Oh dont get me wrong. I will still chat about sex etc. I just need to open the doors to more of my life. I would LOVE to hear what you think of all this. Also what would you like to hear about etc. I'm still finding my way so hang in there with me, M'kay? lol. Princess loves the look going on here. No she really does. . Back to life . Ok so last night picture this. It was a little after 4am and I was jolted awake. I thought there was someone outside my window moving stuff around. But it was thunder so loud it scared me to death. I woke up and the windows of my house were just banging away. The sky was lighting up and the thunder was banging so hard. Now of course Princess wasnt at all scared. But poor puss puss he ran under the bed and hid most of the night away. Then it started to hail and child I thought the world was ending. I could not fall back to sleep so I gave the cats a snack and did some work on my lap top. I then fell asleep around 9.30 and slept till around 3pm. I hate when my sleeping gets thrown off. But what the hell you gonna do, right? It was beautiful and so clear today. I went and had an early dinner tonight at one of my fave mexican resturants. So I'm now sitting here all full and happy. Another interview tomorrow and still waiting to hear back from 2 others. So much change going on. Blog changes, life chages etc. I hope you let me know what you think of the changes going on, ok? Time for me to curl up in bed with my two furry children. Till we chat again...... Love Jayden, Princess and Puss Puss. . Tune for Things n Stuff . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

Fun Times......

2011-03-17T22:31:00.001-07:00

Photo By David Lachapelle.

Fun times to be had by all. Here and there at the beach or at the mall. Cotton candy is pink and oh so yummy. But I cant eat it. It cant go in my tummy.

Look its a bird, no its a plane. No silly thats just me, I'm no plain jane. Have a drink have a bump. But dont just sit there with a frown, like some frump.

Get up and do a groovy dance. Shake it around or you can just prance. Have some fun its really all up to you. Dont make me scare you and scream out boo. Join me for some candy it only costs a few dimes. You and me together dancing and acting silly. We will have some fun times......

Hello Apple Blossom.

How are you doing today? I hope all is well and wonderful with you today. Princess is curled up at the end of my bed sound asleep. I havent been home much these past few days.

I have been working at a really fun event in downtown LA. It was at the california mart in the penthouse and was alot of fun to work. The first day I had to work I couldnt fall asleep the night before.

So I worked that day on a little over three hours sleep. And I have no clue how I got through it. The day went by really fast so it wasnt bad at all. They had a lady dj spinning. There was a fashion show and a bunch of bloogers blogging about the event.

I got to chat with so many great designers, p.r. people and bloggers. I was there working for a cosmetic company called POP Beauty. I just chatted about the line to people that might want to carry the line or write about it.

We were up on the 13th floor which was called the penthouse. There were just alot of really sweet and talented people there. Like I said before, its as if I'm inching my way back to my old life.

The fun part for me was meeting all the bloggers there. They were all sitting around a low modern white table and sitting on matching low stool things. They were all plugged in and typing away and chatting and it was just fun watching them. They were working in what was called the bloggers lounge 'see pictures'.

At the table next to me were the artists and p.r. people from an amazing hair product company called ICON. Such amazing people with great products. It was like when you feel you've known people for years and you just met them.

Thats how it was with this woman named Careth. I hope I spelled her name right. She and I just clicked and had an amazing time chatting and laughing together. You would sit and wait for buyers and writers to come around. And when there were no people we would chat.

Sometimes we would go over an hours time not seeing buyers etc walking around. So I had Icon to my right and the Blogger lounge to my left. Kyley was the main blogger and it seemed that her site had alot to do with the event.

I'll post a link to her site soon. I just dont have the right link right now. But her site is for bloggers etc. As I was driving home today the thought hit me on how much the internet has changed things.

Just a few years ago you had to wait for a newspaper to read about events. Now you have a bunch of bloggers blogging about the event as its going on. Instant everything now, huh?

There also some really fun designers there as well. There was a girl selling hats. So we named her, Hat Girl. There was this one guy hitting on every blonde girl that worked the event or that walked by. So we named him Mr Slick.

Mr Slick would just beam and light up when talking to a young pretty blond. There were some great clothes and hats there as well. But being that I'm still on a budget I had to resist temptation.

The first day there there was a fashion show by a designer named Camelia Skikos. Some pieces were great. And some just didnt make any sense to me. And the makeup and hair just wasnt original nor did it match the mood of the clothes.

Oh and I have to say the d.j. that was spinning was playing some fantastic music. The 2nd day the fashion show was canceled. So that meant less people showed up and it just died in the afternoon.

There was a food court in the lobby so it made getting lunch really easy. Plus there was a juice company there called Honest tea. They had a stand near us so we had bottles of different teas to drink all day.

My fave tea was the pomegranate. Yummy, yummy. Also there were some yummy puffed chips as well. But I cant for the life of me remember their name, lol.

Oscar Gold

OMG I forgot to tell you about my oscar makeup job didnt I? Ok so picture it. I had to be up at her house by 11am to set up and start. She and her husband 'a producer' live in an area of los angeles called beverly park.

Ok so the houses there cost between 12 to 85 million dollars!! As I drove through beverly park I felt as if I was driving in the beverly hillbillies truck. In every driveway was either a bentley, rolls, porche, mercedes etc. All of a sudden my new volvo didnt feel so fancy.

So I get to their home and it was beyond stunning. I'd say it was on about 5 acres. With views of los angeles that took your breath away. The house itself was about 9 thousand square feet. The master bedroom had his and her bathrooms and walk in closets.

Off of her bathroom was her hair and makeup room. She had pro lighting as well as a complete place to get her hair and makeup done. I swear I was looking around and thinking, are you fucking kidding me, lol.

OMG I have to tell you this part. She had a whole walk in closet just for her purses. Well I had my new messenger bag from Tony so I felt like we belonged. So we start her makeup and then her assistant came in with her dress and hangs it up.

She asked me what I thought of it so I told her it was nice. She looked at me and said, can I show you the other dress? I said sure and she bolted up and ran out of the room. She came back in wearing a beautiful dress that was beyond stunning. It was kind of nude colored and covered in jewels. I told her she had to wear that dress. She told me her husband and friends told her to wear the red dress. I told her she would be lost on the red carpet in a red dress.

So she picked the nude dress and I adjusted her lip color for that dress. For the red dress I had her in a red plum lipstick. For the nude I put her in a plum brown base color lipstick. She looked stunning and was thrilled with how she looked.

I never got to see her as I fell asleep while the awards were on. But I did see her on a blog and in a magazine and she looked fantastic and got great write ups. She sent me a wonderful card through my agency thanking me on the makeup and for picking the dress.

That time

Well between the event and my 2 interviews tomorrow I have been one busy boy. I have one interview in the morning and one in the afternoon. I will fill you in on them tomorrow night or on saturday. Please let me know how you're doing. Tell me all about your bad times and all your fun times......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for fun times

Blog Header Created By Boris

Waves Of Change......

2011-03-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We could dim the light of day. Watching colors drift away. Beating like the sounds of love. Reflecting light back to the sun. Listen as the slience fades. Washing darkness from the shade.

Standing on the center stage. Building castles in the rain. Counting down to the light of day. Blowing all the dust away. Speaking truth to those that wait. Be my strength show me the way. Come to life come and feel the sun.

I can hear you calling from a distant place. I can feel you falling, cause in this moment we are love. Come and feel the sun. Let your hands embrace, breaking waves of change......

Hi Doll.

How the hell have you been? Gosh its been far too long, hasnt it? I took a fast break from our chats only because I have been so damm busy. Where oh where do I start. I may be all over the place during this chat. I will just blurt out what pops into my head.

Well first off I spent four beautiful fucking days in miami with my ex Tony. He was going down there for work and he asked me to come along. Tony is my ex that is in commercial real estate. Most of what you see in down town century city is owned by his company.

Remember he is the one that started dating some red headed penthouse model with two huge silicone fun bags. Now as great as I like to think I am. I cant compete with silicone fun bags. Anywho, he was going to miami for work and invited me along.

It was beyond wonderful. We stayed at the delano hotel and I hung out with 2 of my best friends that now live in maimi. Tony was working during the day. So armed with his credit card I had lunches out and a spa day and great dinners out and then dancing.

I felt like julia roberts in pretty woman. Cept I'm not a hooker and I have a much better smile, lol. My 2 friends Mase and Paul are married and I've known them for sometime. We hung out during the days and shopped and did lunches etc.

Tony just handed me a company credit card and told me to behave myself, lol. At night he and I had really wonderful sex. He is a fantastic kisser and has a beautiful fat cock that I love sucking.

The four days there were fucking heaven on earth. And during those days I felt like I was coming back to life. It was winter white party there the weekend I was there. Its some bullshit gay party thing. So south beach was gayer then richard simmons perm!

You couldnt throw a bottle of lube with out hitting some muscle boy in a tank top. One night we ate at the hotel where we were staying at that place was fancy was a huge red F. It was called the blue door fish returant. And let me tell you I had lobster and felt like the queen of england. Only much younger and not with that hand bag.

During the day my lunch place was news cafe on ocean blvd. So many hot guys walking around. My mouth watered for the men and the food. Now as you know I cant really go in the sun.

My skin burns and I will get water blisters. I have to wear an spf of 50 and not stay in the sun longer then 30 minutes. Its my german background. So as mase and paul would lay by the pool I would watch movies or do some shopping.

Tony is a fucking doll and bought me a new Louis Vuitton messenger bag. It was all wrapped up and sitting on the couch of our room. I thought it was for perhaps one of his girlfriends in LA. But after awhile he said, arent you gonna open your present?

Now you know that box was ripped open in 12 seconds flat, lol. He knew my old bag was looking a bit worn. So the great big doll suprised me with a new one. We have a very strange relationship.

I wouldnt call him bi or gay. He has not been with any other man other then me. He has always said he finds me 'pretty' and loves my sense of humor. Now when I first heard him say I was pretty I had to think about that. Pretty as in drag queen pretty or what?

Now as you have seen from many of my photos I'm no stranger to guy liner etc. But I have never thought of myself as 'pretty'. Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansen those are pretty people.

Me I'm just someone with great hair, good lips and good lighting, lol. But I would never ever say I was pretty. But hey who am I to correct a great guy calling me pretty? So anyways there I was with my new gift and the sun was setting and he was smiling at me and I broke down crying.

And for the first time in over a year, these were tears of joy. I was so happy to be somewhere so beautiful and surronded by such great people. It just hit me and I started to cry like a little girl. Tony hugged me and the next thing I knew his penis was in the back of my throat.

Between the lunches and dinners and the hotel it was like waking up in one of those great dreams. Cept this was fucking real. The last night there I went out with Mase and Paul to 2 clubs. And yes I did some blow and some cocktails.

I was dancing and doing everything I told you I wanted to do again. I remember at one point dancing at Twist and I felt as if I was in in slow motion. There were two of my best friends. I was in miami and had a smile on my face the whole time.

Not one tear of sadness or a sad thought the whole time. My 2 friends have been married to each other for over 10 years and they are still so much in love. And being around that it kind of rubs off on you.

The four days went by so fast and the next thing I knew we were flying home '1st class'. Ya I had to brag, lol. Sorry but the hell my life has been I think I'm allowed to brag a tiny bit.

So I got home and Princess was happy to see her daddy. My friend Ro watched her while I was gone. And guess what? I have four job offers on the table. Plus I 'm booked for a four day job.

One of the jobs I'm up for is fucking MASSIVE!!!!!! Its my dream job and I would be so happy. And then I got a call from a production company I met with almost two years ago. I pitched them my idea for 2 reality shows and never heard back.

I think I told you I was a semi co host on a tv show about 3 years ago, didnt I? Well anywho they called and want to meet with me about the 2nd show I pitched. And ya my ass would be in the show, lol.

I cant tell you the details of what the show is. Only because I had one of my ideas ripped off. There is a show on the air right now that was all my fucking idea. And I didnt get shit for it.

The waves of change that have rippled through my life have been so huge I just cant stop smiling. So many people told me that things would soon turn around but I was starting to lose hope and lose me.

I have also re connected with 2 people from my past. Two really good friends that fell out of my life are now both back. Its as if the sky has chased my dark clouds away and the sun in all around me once again.

I've walked back into the light and I fell so blessed. I just wish my mom was still alive to enjoy all this with me. She passed away soon after I had met with the production company about my tv show.

I'm now ready to scatter her ashes and will be doing so next week. I guess I will invite the person that is my sister. I know she would want to be there. And I will be the bigger person and invite her.

So lets see, 4 job offers, check. Miami, check. Two friends back, check. I think i have filled you in on so much that has been going on. But with all the fantastic change for me comes with the sadness of whats going on in japan. My heart breaks for all those affected. I beg you to donate to the red cross etc.

Well sunshine. I think I have filled you in on so much going on in my life. Please feel free to do the same thing. Leave me a message here as I wont be on the other site much. I'm so busy I just dont have a whole lot of time. I hope to hear from you soon. Let me know how you are and I will share with you all my waves of change......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

UNDERGEAR TAKES OVER TIMES SQUARE

2011-02-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

Levi......

2011-02-28T07:27:00.001-08:00

Hustle......

2011-02-28T07:17:00.001-08:00

Gold......

2011-02-22T00:47:00.001-08:00

That rich seductive glow of gold. It can seduce you with its bright allure. Golden days and golden nights. It never gets old. The days of the gold rush are long over or so I have been told.

What is it that makes grown men weep in its presence. They cry and sweat, tremble and shake. The call of gold has been heard far and wide. From rich men to humble peasents.

I dont know what it is about the rich look of gold. Its what makes the world go around I have been told. The worth of a man is not measured by his kindness or smile. You dont believe me. I will tell you a tale. Come here if you will. Even if you must walk a mile.

The golden dream. Dreams of winning that gold. Where to display it. Who to tell if you win it. All these questions. All for the gold. That beautiful Gold......

Hello Sunshine.

How are you doing today? It was a beautiful clear and sunny day here today. I went to lunch with my friend Dana today. We went and had thai food and it was wonderful. I met her in newport beach and we chatted and got caught up and had a wonderful time.

The Call

So I'm sitting there having lunch with Dana and shes telling me all about whats going on in her life. My cell phone rings and I look down at it to see who was calling me.

It was my agent so I told Dana I had to take the call. So I pick up and I hear my agent saying, Jayden you there? I told him yes I was and he asks if I could work on sunday, oscar sunday.

I told him that yes I could. Dana must have seen my smile cause she had that look on her face like, whats going on. My agent told me that the wife of someone nominated wanted a makeup artist to do her makeup for the oscars.

I told him that I was indeed available. We soon agreed on a price 'its good' And he told me the set up date. Thats when you meet with the client to get a look at the dress and what they look like etc.

I have four giant makeup kits so I dont think I need to buy anything new. I'm meeting with her on thursday to see her dress and get an idea of what shes looking for with her makeup.

I hung up and told Dana and she grabbed my hand and told me how happy she was for me. I havent worked the oscars in two years. When the economy tanked one of the first things people cut out was getting their makeup done.

Thats why you see so many non stars trudging down the red carpet looking like garbage these past couple of years. Its just so nice to start getting called once again. I'm pretty well known for the look I give with makeup.

I'm known for the romantic soft glow I like to give woman. I always say that makeup should make the person look better. But not different. So many artists have such a heavy hand that the person ends up almost looking like they are in drag.

I was once working at fashion week and the lead artist was fired by the designer and I was asked to step in and design a new look for the models in less then two hours. I did and it was brilliant.

I gave the girls a soft bardot look with heavy eye liner and lashes and soft pink glossy lips. I love working fashion week. You always get invited to all the parties. And hanging out with the male models is fucking wicked.

Ok Picture it

Ok so let me tell you about this one fashion week I worked. It was at the standard hotel downtown. I was booked for two shows and it was gonna be slammed. You run from one backstage area to another to work your magic. Its fun and brutal.

So there I was at the second show and the makeup they asked for was so simple it was just a little gloss, blush and shadow on the girls. I was asked to touch up all the guys for the show as well.

Now you know I had no problem with that at all. So I'm bronzing all the guys up, this was a swimsuit show. So the bodies had to look flawless. So there I was in makeup heaven and I see my friend Gina.

We waved and kept working. After we had done all the makeup and were putting our kits back together she asked if there were any parties going on. I told her I had no idea. So we chatted with the models and found out the designer had a suite and was having a party after the show.

So we headed upstairs and heard music and followed it. There in this giant suite was music models and fun. Right in the middle of the room was a giant bathtub. The show was sponsored by a vodka company and there were bottles of it everywhere.

So we made ourselves very strong drinks and plopped down and started to relax. There was this total hottness of a model. He looked like River Phoenix all blond and scruffy with bright blue eyes.

Sexy as shit and dumb as shit as well, lol. But still fun to chat with. So as people relaxed the more they started to mingle. I was in the bathroom doing a line of coke with a female model when I saw the River guy getting a blow job from one of the female models in the shower stall.

I watched for a minute as they didnt seem to mind and it was hot. So I make my way back in the living room and there in Gina dancing in her bra and having a blast. I sat and chatted with different people and would go in the bathroom for a lil bump here n there.

It was getting late and I wanted to get home and take a hot shower. I saw that there was a ton of unopened vodka bottles all over the suite. So I did what any artist would do. I loaded up my bags till they were ready to burst. I had every flavor of bottle you can imagine.

So I said goodbye to the designer and Gina and the models and take off for my car. As I'm walking down the hall I could hear my bags clanking with all the vodka bottles in them.

I felt like such a drunk with all that booze on me. I got home and unpacked and I had twelve bottles of vodka packed in my bags. It was close to halloween so I knew those bottles would come in handy for parties etc.

Desert

So Dana and I had desert at a yogurt place and she was so happy that I'm once again booking jobs. Two years ago I booked the american music awards, grammys, emmys and oscar show.

I was turning work down I was so busy. I turned a honda car commercial down. I hate working commercials as they take all day and they sometimes take forever to pay up. So there I was having desert and the thought hit me of how fast things can change.

They can go from great to bad to good in a matter of months. My agent also told me there might be a movie filming in march that I could be booked on. Now movies are fucking pure gold. The money is insane and the work is so easy.

I dont do special effects makeup as it was never my bag of fun. So most of the time you do normal makeup with a little more shading and its easy as hell. Oh I love working on movies. They last for months and the income from them is bank.

Its a wrap

So as I drove home I just had a huge smile on my face. I stopped and picked Princess up a cat plant so she could celebrate with me. She loves her kitty greens. So it looks like things may be picking up once again.

I cant tell you how thrilled I am about all of this. And I think I may finally sleep normal tonight. And you know what else? I think I'm gonna treat myself to getting my do done this week, lol. So doll how are you doing? I hope all is well and wonderful with you. Leave me a message here letting me know how your doing. It would mean more to me then a bar of Gold......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for gold

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Ghosts......

2011-02-19T22:51:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . Photo By David Lachapelle . Things that go bump in the night. Sometimes you can wake up with such a fright. Ghosts of things from your past. They follow you through life. They seem to really last. Scary thoughts seem to haunt you. Walking around waiting for things to jump out and scream boo. I should know that these visions are not true. But thay can ruin my day leaving me feeling blue. What should I do. Pick up the phone and call a ghost buster. Sweep them away with a magic broom and a gold duster. Please tell me how to rid these things from my life. Letting me feel free of all this strife. Its all so silly I know. But they are killing me robbing me of my beauty glow. Where can I hide, where can I run. These scary things are really no fun. If I cant get free I'm afraid I may be toast. Oh help me rid my life of all these ghosts...... . Hello my haunted hunk. How are you doing today? It has been pouring rain here today. I'm still feeling a bit off from that stomach virus I had yesterday. And my sleeping patterns are so messed up. I was up till almost noon. And then I crashed and woke up around 4.30 pm. I'm afraid of whats going to happen when I do go back to work. I must get my sleeping back on a normal pattern. I'm sure its yet another thing that I'm blowing out of proportion. . Spooky . I had the strangest dreams last night. One woke me up and it took me awhile to fall back to sleep. Now I hate when people come up to me and say, oh I had the weirdest dream last night. Cause you know they are about to tell you the longest story about their dream. My eyes will roll back into my head. And I will look for a hole to jump into. So I will just give you the basics. The dream was two people from my past both having sex. And enjoying it as to get back at me for something. It has so haunted me today. Thats what got me to thinking about the ghosts that we drag around. Why is it that the good things from life are soon forgotten. Yet all the shitty things from life we drag behind us for years and years. Do the scary things in life mean more to us then the happy things? Think about it for a second. The things that stay with us are the shitty, scary things. The fun and sweet people that travel through our lifes dont seem to have the same impact on us then say the nasty hateful creeps. Or is it that we somehow need to fill our lifes up with these little dramas so it doesnt seem so empty? Its much like movies, music, gossip etc. Just things we do to pass the days. But why is it that my mind just clamps on to the bad and holds it and holds it? The steely grip of negativity I guess. As the day has worn on I have kind of figured out this shitty dream. I think it represented how people from the past still have a way of fucking with your head. And maybe just maybe it was meant to show me the people I hurt were fucking with me? . I should know . You would think that by now I should know that most of it really means nothing. But as I said I think its just the small shit like dreams bad people etc are what makes life what it is. The haunted dreams are the ones that I remember. I do remember the sweet dreams as well dont get me wrong. But ask me in a year which ones I most remember and I bet it will be the haunted ones. I really dont mind scary dreams. Its just I always wonder what the fuck they mean. Do they have some heavy meaning. Or is it that your brain is just taking a hearty shit while your sleeping? I suppose we will never really know the answers to why it is we dream what we do. Everyone seems to have a different reason as to what dreams mean etc. I for one dont have the answer. Its just the heavy duty scary dreams I wish wouldnt come knocking on my door at night. They haunt me for days on end and I could do with out that feeling. . Boo . Lovers of the past have a way of haunting me as well. You know I have always been really honest in the way I seem to pick the most fucked up head cases for boyfriends. If he has had a drug problem, been in jail etc. Well I seem to fall head over heels. Then of course when the rosy glasses fall off and I see them for the nut cases they are. Its just sometimes to late in the game. Then they seem to haunt me for years and years. Was there something I could have done to save them or the relationship? And its only now that I have seen things for what they really were. Me falling for guys that needed fixing and failing. Then of course I spent years beating myself up because I couldnt change him. It was always MY fault. But now as I have gotten older I see things with out all the bullshit fogging up the picture. I could never have changed them. They were damaged goods and should have never been picked in the first place. And maybe this is why I have no man in my life right now. The one guy I really like lives in canada and maybe thats for the best. Trust me when I tell you he has issues. But his heart is pure and I do see the issues and I no longer ignore them. . Light . I think when you have walked through so much bullshit. You really start to appreciate the roses. I now know when I see a red flag behind a man to run the other way. These guys should be forced to have a tattoo of 'Proceed with caution' on their foreheads. Wouldnt that make life so much easier if people came with warning labels? Warning this person is creepy and will trick you into believing he wants to help you. WRONG!!! Oh I'd fucking love that. But I wonder what my warning label would be. Hmm maybe, Warning this person is very jealous and will try to change you. To be honest I just have no idea what to look for in a guy now. Since I weeded out all the losers I mean whats left? And remember I live in los angeles. Land of liars, fakes and losers. Its like getting a turd in a Chanel box. Its still shit, but its wrapped up real pretty. . End . Dreams, Ghosts, Men from the past. All the things that haunt me on a daily basis. Sometimes I think when we let go of our ghosts we lose a bit of ourselves. Think about it. You let go of a lover past, and they are gone. So in a way you have lost a little something. It doesnt really matter if the loss is of good or bad. Its still a loss. Even the men that have hurt me I still miss a bit. I guess I choose to remember the good times rather then the bad times. Is it time to pull my head out from the sand and just let all of my ghosts go once and for all? I wish it was really that easy. But I still havent found the cure for all my Ghosts...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for Ghosts . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris

My Candy......

2011-02-19T04:36:00.001-08:00

I've got lots of candy. It's sweet and juicy and waiting for you. Theres plenty to go around, watch and learn. Dont worry sugar you'll get your turn. Want some of my candy? Drop to your knees and say ahh.

This candy will have you begging for more. I wont judge you baby. You're not a whore. Now get that hot ass through my door. Your sweet tooth is aching for some candy. Well here I am baby, candy in my hand all sweet and dandy.

Be a good boy and dont eat with your mouth full. Try not to stuff your face. The table is set and you know your place. Clean your plate if you want a tasty creamy treat.

I hope your hungry, Cause there is pleanty of this sweet meat. You know you want it baby. Its right here within reach and oh so handy. All you have to do is ask for some of my candy......

Hello Lollipop.

How is your sweet fine ass today? I hope you're feeling better then me today. I have a nasty stomach virus that had me feeling like mortal hell. Just a nasty filthy bug.

I woke up around 4am with what felt like an alien trying to rip through all holes. I was in the bathroom for hours on end today. At one point I was on the bathroom floor turning a pale shade of green.

I was feeling so weak and dizzy and thats when I got scared. I had no idea what the fuck was wrong with me. My friend Ro brought over some juice's and soups. All I wanted to do was lay in bed in a ball. So Ro didnt stay to long. I drank juice and spent most of the day in the bathroom.

I fell back to sleep around 11 am and I went out cold till 7pm. I woke up and fed the cats and then took a nice hot shower. I was starting to feel normal and turned my phone and lap top on to see what was going on.

My friend Paul in Miami sent me a text and we chatted and I told him what was wrong with me. He told me that he and his husband had the exact same thing that I did. He told me it was a nasty stomach virus going around. I just didnt know that a bug could get around so fast.

I just ate soup and drank a ton of juices today. I chatted with R my sexy man up in canada. That man always knows what to say to cheer me up. I would be married to him if he was still living in the states.

R is about 6ft1, puerto rican german, nice body, tattoos, brown hair and deep brown eyes. He has an 8 inch thick cock that he knows how to use. I adore him to death. But he lives in canada now and life goes on, right?

So I chatted with R and it just makes me think that he is yet another thing the universe took away from me. He has said I should come to canada. But I dont know about living there. As soon as I'm back on my feet money wise I plan on going up there. It would be nice to get a taste of his sweet candy again.

That man has something so sweet and I'm aching for it. I'm feeling better right now but my head is still a bit woozy. Does that make sense? Other then chatting with R and Paul I didnt do a whole lot today.

Princess has been a little food piggie today. I fed her around 9am. then she had dinner around 6pm and then her snack at 1am. And she has 3 bowls of dried food out for her as well.

Next week I may go up and stay with my cousin Lori for a couple of days. She has a great town house on the water. I just want to get out of this house for a few days. I really wish I had the funds to go to maui for a week or two. I really need a holiday.

My head is still pounding a bit. But I imagine thats because my body went through hell today. I have this movie on right now called Marnie. Its an old hitchcock movie and rather corny. But I'm to lazy to change it.

It poured rain here today. It was a perfect day to be sick if you ask me. I just stayed in bed with Princess and slept the day and sickness away. I want to go out and do something soon. I'm beginning to feel like a shut in.

Geesh I cant think of anything else to tell you, lol. How sad is that? I really must get back out and rejoin life. I shall soon I promise. So lover how have you been. I hope all is well and wonderful with you. Leave me a message and let me know how you are. If you do. I swear I'll let you enjoy my candy......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for my candy

Blog Header Created By Boris.

All I Ever Wanted......

2011-02-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

Too good you could be so misunderstood. Snow pure, demure, dont feel so insecure. Heaven would be lonely with out you. Know one makes me feel the way you do. What you gonna say, what you gonna do?

Maligned you'll find the strength to ease your mind. Trust fate relate this trial you'll tolerate. Summer would be bitter with out you. Sunshine couldnt warm me like you do. Devontions what you read in me.

Review brand new you know you'll see it through. From now I vow they'll take what you allow. Paradise so dreary with out you. I couldnt last a day with out you.

Nothing else could take the place of you. You know I wouldnt stay with out you. All I ever wanted was to be with you, to be free with you, totally with you, I believe in you......To Mr Perfect.

The Blog.

Hello SeaShell.

How are you doing today? I hope all is well and wonderful in your world. I wouldnt know because you never leave me a fucking message, lol. Am I chatting to anyone in here or just the walls?

Today was a grey and overcast day here today. I did finally hear from one of my agents booking me for a four day job next week. The money is so so but it beats a kick in the ass.

Hard Times.

It seems life has just been throwing so much crap my way. I was beginning to wonder if the sun would ever shine on me again. I've had my hard times in the past but nothing like this.

Its nice to finally be getting good news once again. The sun in my life is once again peeking its head out and saying, hey bitch I'm still here. I'd like to smack it in its fat fucking head but instead I'll just smile.

Yesterday I was once again having bad panic attacks. A friend of mine had given me a few xanax so I popped one last night. The thing was strong as all hell. It knocked me out from a little after midnight till 4.30 pm today.

I have not been sleeping well with all this shit spinning in my head. So I guess my body just shut down hard.

I feel semi human once again today. I havent spoken with Mr Perfect in sometime. I think he is out of town working. As soon as I can I'm asking him and his fine self out to lunch.

Oh god I hope I dont turn into a frump in a house coat around him. I hate how good looking guys can do that to you. I mean I can get all dressed up. Perfect outfit on, hair looking good. then you get around the hot guys and you feel like you're standing there in a robe with curlers in your hair.

Just not a great feeling. Is it me or have you ever felt that way as well? Please tell me its not just me. I dont wanna be the only plain jane that feels that way.

Love Action.

When you're in love you know you're in love no matter what you try to do. You might as well resign yourself to what your going through. If your a hard man or if your a child it still might get to you. Dont kid yourself you've seen it all before. A million mouths have said that too.

I've had my hard times in the past I've had a husband and a lover too. I've laid alone and cried at night over what love made me do. And the love ones who let me down and couldnt share my point of view.

But this is Jayden talking I wanna tell you what I found to be true. I love your love action loves just a distraction. No talking just looking. Watching your love action.

Back to life.

I'm hoping that the good news will keep pouring in. Life has a way of doing that. Just like they say, when it rains it pours. Well I feel that to be true with good news as well.

I'm looking forward to getting back out there and making money. I want my old life back. Lunches, shopping etc. I know that sounds shallow. But its what makes me happy. Having had so much darkness in my life has made me appreciate the light so much more.

I have alot of pushing to do before I'm back to where I once was. I just cant lose the hope. When you lose the hope, then you pretty much just close down. I dont wanna go down that dark road again. Been there, done that and its not anywhere I wanna visit again.

Princess was on some form of kitty crack today. She wanted to play, so we played. She loves me chasing her. And she loves when I throw one of her toys. She will play fetch, I swear she does.

She is drinking water right now and looking at her daddy. Its getting close to her bedtime and she should be sleeping soon. Last night she got right next to me and fell asleep.

I woke up and she was sleeping next to me stretched out with her one paw up on my chest. It looked like she was hugging me. That lil girl just means the world to me. Sweetest lil animal ever. She is my baby and I'm so happy she came into my life.

The Wrap up.

So how have you been? It means alot to me when you leave me a message letting me know how you're doing. Dont be afraid to leave me any message here. And its not really that hard to do. You know its All I ever wanted......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for All I ever wanted

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Johnathan Gorejus Loves Jayden......

2011-02-14T21:57:00.000-08:00

I was thrilled to hear that my blog was being talked about on air. Johnathan a famous model, Dancer who was on the real housewives of atlanta said he loved Jaydens Blog and sent along these photos to prove it.

Thank you for the shout out on Bravo Johnathan. I love you for this. Huge hugs and kisses......

Johnathan Gorejus Loves Jayden 2

2011-02-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

The Long Tunnel......

2011-02-13T21:56:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This is the long tunnel of wanting you. It's walls are lined with remembered kisses. Wet and red as the inside of your mouth. Full and juicy as your probing tongue. Warm as your belly against mine. Deep as your navel leading home. Soft as your sleeping cock beginning to stir. Tight as your legs wrapped around mine. Straight as your toes pointing toward the bed. As you roll over and thrust your hardness. Into the long tunnel of my wanting. Straightening out my crooked past. This is the long tunnel of wanting you...... . Hello Lady Bug. How was your day today? I hope you had a wonderful day today. It was a beyond beautiful day here today. Sunny and clear skies. It was 82 here and simply divine. What did you do today. Anything wonderful you would like to share with me? I didnt do much today. Did some laundry and went out to lunch with a good friend of mine. He paid thank god, lol. If he hadnt my fat ass would have been in the back washing dishes. So many of you sent me mail here and through JUB about our last chat. Many of you told me you liked when I talked nasty. It wasnt planned its just what fell out of my head. I really dont plan what I'm gonna chat about in here. Unless a wonderful idea pops in my head. I will write it down and put it near my computer so I dont forget. I have an idea that I will soon chat about. Maybe tomorrow. Anyways many of you want to know who S.T. is. Well one person 'JP' gussed who he is. Since he is on my friends list on FB it wasnt that hard, lol. I'm easy to find on FB, Jayden O'neal. My middle name is in there as well. But I'm sure you can find me if you wanted to. I met S.T. about 3 years ago at a club in LA called mj's. He is way out of my league and never thought he would even talk to me. He walked by me and I smiled and he stopped and said something about my hair and we started to chat. He joined me and my friends and I kept waiting for him to excuse himself and leave. Turns out he likes guys a bit more on the fem side 'his words' And I mean I dont wear heels or anything like that. But I have always looked a bit fem and its something I now embrace and no longer fight. Plus I score a ton of str8 and bi men looking for fun, lol. So it has a great plus to it. Ok let me explain Steve 'thats his name' to you. He is about 6ft3, 220lbs, brown hair and hazel eyes. He has a body of death. Beautiful sweet baby face. Muscles for days and just the perfect amount of body hair. His cock is about 7 fat inches and he has a smooth big bubble butt. He is a total top and likes to be serviced. So in that way we are a perfect match. I went out to dinner with him once at tango grill 'in west hollywood'. And bitches were all over him the whole time we were eating. I mean I was sitting right across from him and guys were stopping and wanting to give him their numbers. We were eating on the outside patio and the attention that man gets is insane. He was so sweet when guys were acting all goofy on him. He just smiled and said he was having dinner with someone. One guy looked at me and went on chatting with Steve. Steve told the guy he was being rude and asked him to leave. There are just some guys that if you hang with them you become the frumpy girl in the group. Its like being Rosie O'Donnel in a group of playboy bunnys. I mean which one you think is gonna get banged first? Cause it aint Rosie and her saggy utters, lol. Now the problem I have with Steve is this. I like him much more then a fuck buddy. And he wants to keep things between us simple. When he wants head I will go over and service him. Thats about as deep as our relationship goes. Oh he did suck my dick once. But we were drunk and stoned. He hates giving head and has no problem letting you know that fact. But the man is so sexy I just forgive him for being a selfish lover. I have to admit its a huge ego booster being out with him. Guys see you with him and you know the bitches know you must give great head to have a man like him with you, lol. And sucking his cock is like floating on a cloud in heaven with angles wings flapping to keep you cool. I'm by no means a total bottom either. I love nothing more then fucking the shit out of a hot ass. And I love the looks I get when doing just that. Ok let me explain that. I used to go to alot of sex clubs. Back in my slutty days dont cha know. I once hooked up with this hot blond guy. He had that white blond surfer kinda hair. Nice tight body and he wanted me to fuck him. So we went to the back patio, kind of an outdoor area. We went behind these tall bamboo trees and I put a rubber on and lubed up and fucked his ass hard! I was pulling his hair and pinching his nipples and we had a group around us jacking off and watching. It was fucking hot as hell. I love being watched. I nailed his ass hard and he was tight and it was wicked good. I came and when I pulled out some older leather daddy type asked if he could have my rubber. I slid it off and handed it to him. I had no idea what he wanted it for. My friend Chris told me because the guy wanted to drink my load. I could have cared less to be honest with you. Some leather daddy drinking my cum doesnt bother me half as much as a man in clogs. In fact I was kinda turned on. Its a compliment if you think about it. A slutty filthy one. But I'll still take the compliment. I had my slutty days and I admit to them. God I did parks, sex clubs, orgys etc. But I never ever played unsafe. I'm hiv negative and have never had an std of any kind. I have seen some wild shit in my time, fisting, slaves, pissing, double anal fucking. I think what kept me safe was that I would rarely do anal. And when I did I would top and always wearing a rubber. Ok once I did something stupid. I was at the zone 'sex club in hollywood' I saw this fucking hot jock getting his cock sucked. So I got behind him, dropped to my knees and ate his ass but good. I know it was risky but the guy was way to hot to pass up the chance. The only thing about having been a slut is running into past tricks. And it happens alot, lol. I mean what do you say. Oh hi remember me from the park where you sucked my cock and I blew a huge load on your face and it got in your eye and you cried cause it stinged 'true story'. Or this one time, oh I have to tell you this story. I hooked up with this hot guy in an aol chat room. Went to his house and had really great sex. I mean the sex was so good my friend Mimi told me I was glowing the next day. Well fast forward about a year and I hooked up with this hottie from an aol chat room. Got to his house and were in bed in a 69 and I look around the room and it hit me. I had been there before. Yes a double hook up and didnt even know it till his cock was in my mouth. Now if that doesnt get me a slut trophy, then I dont know what will. Oh Yes let me tell you this story as well. I was at the zone and this guy came over and pulls my dick out and sucks me off and rims me. Anyways I came and soon went home. A few days later I bump into a friend of mine and we said hello. He had a friend in from san diego and guess what? Ya it was the guy who sucked me off. Small world huh? lol. I didnt live that one down for awhile. I've done things that would make me a slut this is true. But I had fun doing it and I see no harm in anything I have done. I'm a grown up just out having some fun. I have cooled way down in my slutty ways. I still get the urge but just dont feel like going to the parks, sex clubs etc. Oh I may hit a sex club soon cause I've been so fucking horny. Something about warm weather makes my dick rock hard all day long. Speaking of hard dicks I wonder what Steve is up to tonight, lol. Wouldnt mind his hot ass on my face. Anyways, so whats new with you pumpkin? I hope your doing great and all is wonderful in your world. Feel free to leave me a message here. I love hearing from you. I have a hard problem to take care of now so we will chat soon, lol. Till we chat again, you know I love ya. Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for the long tunnel . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

You Can Fuck With Me......

2011-02-11T22:09:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bend me over and take me from behind. Push me to my knees and shove your cock down my throat. Pull my hair and gag me while you tell me how much you love me. It's only sex baby, dont be ashamed. Cum in my mouth or on my pretty face. Just make sure your aim is on target. I need to taste you right now. Slap me and make me your whore. I'm all yours baby what are you waiting for. My ass is ready and my legs are in the air. Mount me and shove it in like you dont have a care. I like it really rough lover. Fuck me smack me pull my hair. I'll still call you daddy, I dont care. Just come on over honey. You dont even need a big wad of money. I'm your filthy dirty whore. Now do me hard then get the fuck out my door. I'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear. In the dark baby we have no fear. Just remember I'm always here waiting, just so you can fuck with me...... . *WARNING* This blog entry is XXX rated. . Hello my filthy lover. How are you doing today? I know last time we had a chat I seemed down. And I was. I'm just really honest with you. I mean why come in here for our chats if I just sugar coat the shit, right? You gotta take the good with the bad, dont you think? One of my agents called me today for a possible job. I'm supposed to get the call times etc next week. So that was like fucking bread from heaven. Last night I was on my facebook page when one of my fuck buddys started flirting with me. So I sent him a message telling him I wanted to come over and suck him dry and tongue fuck his ass till next week. In about 30 seconds my phone was ringing. It was S.T. my big buff muscle fuck buddy. We havent hooked up in awhile because of his job and my head being in such a dark place. He asked me how long it would take me to get ready. I told him I was good to go and I would see him in about 25 minutes. Before we hung up I told him I wanted to play rough and he just said ok and hung up. I got to his house and rung the door bell. I heard his voice telling me to come in and I did. I saw him sitting on the couch stroking his fat cock. He just barked at me to get my ass over there and service him. I did as I was told and dropped to my knees. As I was about to suck his cock he pulled my hair and smacked me across the face. I remembered what I had told him about wanting it rough and he was giving it to me but good. He told me I had forgotten to ask him if I could suck his cock. I asked him and he then crammed his fat cock down the back of my throat. I opened my throat up and took every inch in till my face was shoved in his pubic hairs. I was in heaven. He smelt so fucking good I just wanted him more. He grabbed me by my hair and put my on my back on the floor. Next thing I saw was his hole coming at my face. I tore into his hole with my tongue and I swear to you I heard angels singing. He was stroking his cock and making me lick the cum off the tip of his meat. I looked up at him and he just gave me his sexy fucking smile that would make me rob a bank for him. He dragged me by my hair into his bedroom and put me down on the bed with my head hanging off the side. He went to town fucking my face and calling me every dirty name you could think of. I swear if the world came to an end I would have died with a huge smile on my face. S.T. rode my face hard. He had me by my hair and was fucking my mouth so good. I could tatse all his sweet pre cum oozing down my throat. Something about what body builders eat makes their cum taste so sweet. It was super sweet man candy. He got on the bed with me and straddled my face. He had me by the back of my head and throat fucked me till my eyes were rolling back. He sat on my face and my face was buried in his hot ass. I ate that mans ass like it was my last meal. I could hear him moaning as he moved his sweet ass all over my face. I was eating his ass and he would then shove his cock down my throat. I was licking all the cum off his cock and I wanted more. He told me it was ok to touch my cock and cum with him. So I stroked my cock and ate his musky hot hole. He asked if I was close and I told him I was. He then shoved his cock in my mouth and shot a huge load. He was done and breathing so hard and I shot all over myself. We layed in his bed just catching our breath. He looked over at me smiled and said, so how have you been. We both cracked up and he hugged me. Being in that mans arms is one of the best places on earth. We got cleaned up and went in the living room where he made us both a drink. We sat and chatted and caught up and I was so happy being with him. I have always wanted to be more then a fuck buddy of his. But he doesnt want a relationship with anyone. So like the starving dog I take the scraps I can get. He has his faults and I know them all. Its just with him the good out weighs the bad. We watched a movie and I told him about how shitty things have been. He hugged me and that felt so good I nearly cried. The human touch is sometimes better then any drug ever made. We smoked a bowl and just watched a movie. I fell asleep and woke up as he was getting ready for work. I made him breakfast and he told me he had a really good time last night. I had a light breakfast as I'm now trying to lose the weight I gained while in my funk. S.T. walked me to my car and gave me a really sweet kiss goodbye. I drove home and took a hot shower and climbed into bed. I fell asleep with a huge grin on my face. I dreamt of rainbows and pots of gold. Oh and Mr S.T.s huge fat dick dancing in my face. Its amazing how just seeing an old friend can cheer a boy right up. Dirty filthy sex is one thing that can put a huge smile on my face. I suggest it for anyone feeling blue. If your feeling blue and in my area. Look me up cause, You Can Fuck With Me...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for You can fuck with me . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris

Madonna - Erotica

2011-02-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

Lions for the Lambs......

2011-02-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

Life is a strange journey. Just when it looks like it has given you a break. It can kick you hard in your nuts to remind you of who is in charge.

You can lay down and wave the white flag. Or you can stand up, dust yourself off and move forward. Life can eat you alive. Chomp you down in small bites. In life your either the Lion, or the Lamb......

Hello Pork Chop.

How are you doing today? I hope all is well in your life right now. Mine is still a freak storm of shit flying through the air. I had thought help was on the way. Turned out to be a false alarm.

I wont lie to you and tell you things are all rosey right now. In fact its nothing but thorns in my side. I must confess something to you. I really thought about taking my life a few nights ago.

My panic attacks were so bad that the room was spinning hard. It was just so bad I cant put it into words. I knew I had a bottle of sleeping pills so that bad thought crept into my head.

If you have never had panic attacks then this might seem odd to you. Its hard pulling yourself up after being beaten so hard over n over by life. But I pushed through it and calmed myself down.

I swear my phone hasnt rung in so long I thought it had broke. I just dont know where else to turn or look for work. I have an agency, headhunter and myself looking hard.

It's not like I'm sitting here eating bon bons and sipping wine everyday. It's getting so bad I might escort real soon. Hey its money right? It would just be my luck I'd be the first whore busted on his first date, lol.

Something good has to happen soon, doesnt it. Shouldnt there be some good to balance out all this bad? Oh lord I hate feeling sorry for myself. Its just hard not to when you keep getting served a plate of shit.

Everyday I send my resume out. I now have 3 versions of it to fit any kind of job. I dont know why I'm not getting calls. I move forward and keep hoping for something good to happen.

Its funny how life unfolds. One day everything is smooth sailing. Then the next day your hit by giant waves. I just want to return to my normal life. Is it just a luck of the draw. Or do we make or own fate?

Thats a question thats been stuck in my head. Have I done things to land me where I now stand. Or is it just the way lifes ball bounces? I need my xanax but I simply cant afford to go to see my doctor right now.

Its either food for me and Princess or some xanax. And right now I have to keep us both fed. Princess is sleeping at the foot of the bed right now. She hardly leaves my side these days.

You think animals know what we are feeling? She sleeps with me and spends most of her days with me as well. Today she cracked me up. She was sound asleep when a loud noise outside woke her up.

She woke up and gave me such a funny look. It was almost like she thought I had made the noise and she was giving me a dirty look, lol. Do you think its wrong to escort? I mean just a few times wouldnt be so bad would it?

I'm just sorta out of ideas right now on how to bring in any money. I havent done anything of intrest to tell you about. I'm scared to leave the house because I dont want to spend a penny I dont have to.

I need to get a haircut as well. But that brings me back to not wanting to spend any money at the moment. So I'm walking around with this ratty do. Oh I need an angel in my life right now.

But with the way my luck is going right now. Any angel that shows up near my place would get run over by a truck. So I think they are all staying clear of me.

I'm sorry if I seem a bit down and spaced. I wasnt planning on chatting tonight. But I was passing by and dropped in for a little chat. Please dont get the idea that I'm sitting here ready to slit my wrists,

I'm not. Its just that when I'm in the middle of a bad panic attack I cant control what I do or say at times. If you happen to see any lost angels would you please send them my way? I would love you forever if you did.

I wish I had more to tell you other them my gloom and doom. Send me some good vibes that my phone soon rings and I get some good news. I need some good news right now. Life has been kicking my ass lately.

Today in the states it was the superbowl. It seems to be a big deal here. But to be honest I couldnt give a wet rats turd about it. You know I will soon have to start a new blog as I'm almost out of space on this one.

I will change it just a tad with the new one. Not so much that you wont know that its me. But just a tad. All this stress has made me break out so bad. I know its silly but I hate when it happens.

How have you been pumpkin. Is all well and dandy with you? Please let me know by leaving me a message here. Its time I once again dusted myself back off and headed back into life. I just hope I dont become the Lions for the Lambs......

Love Jayden and Princess.

P.S. You may have noticed I have added a paypal donate button. If you care to use it both Princess and I would love you forever.

Thank You,

Jayden and Princess.

Tune for Lions for the Lambs

Blog Header Created By Boris.

I'm Ok......

2011-01-29T22:46:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To many lights gone out so many stars stop shining. I'm looking for words to shout but nobody cares to listen. Maybe we all keep lying maybe we all need to find it. A bit of my world is empty but something much deeper sends me. I keep asking I walk the streets for miles. Much like the hunger wanting to survive. So many wasted minds not thinking about who's crying. So many rival wars nobodys really winning. Cant even say who scores, still I cant say whats coming. But I'm ok, I'm ok now...... . Hello Butterfly. How are you doing today? I hope that all is well and wonderful in your life. I had a day just for me today. Today I went and hung out at the beach and just took in the world. It felt like a much needed shot to my soul and psyche. The weather has been beautiful here. It was 82 degrees here today and just beautiful. I just took it all in and just relaxed and tried to tune out the bad energy thats been in my heart and mind. Plus all the hotties today made me drool, lol. Nothing like watching the surfers change out of their wet suits to make you smile. With each day passing I'm feeling more like myself and less like a sad sally. I hate when I sink that deep in the hole. My biggest fear is not being able to crawl back out. That and wearing man clogs 'shudders'. I had some good news today. I'm up for a small job that well last about two weeks. The money is great and I really need it for a number of reasons. Of course for the money and also to get me back out there working. I dont know if you've ever seen the movie private benjamin with Goldie Hawn. There is a line in the movie when Goldie says, I just wanna be normal. I just wanna go to lunch. And that line couldnt fit me any better right now. Cause I do just wanna be normal and go to lunch again. I'm going to go see my doctor next week about getting me back on a weak dose of xanax. It just takes the harsh edges off if that makes sense. But the last thing I want is to become some doped out mess. That and man clogs 'shudders again'. I havent had the nerve to chat much with Mr Perfect while I was down in the sad sally hole. Now that I'm feeling better the only hole I want near me is his! Ya I went there, just pure filth. But you love when I talk all dirty dont cha blanche? Princess was so funny today. I was sitting on my bed getting dressed and she came in and just stared at me. Her eyes just say so much its spooky. That lil girl has meant so much to me. She is so much more then a cat to me. I really thought about that today. I think its also because she is one of the last links that I have to my mom. I dont know if you remember but I had bought Princess for my mom. They were together for about five months before my mom passed away. I remember after the paramedics worked on my mom and she had passed on they covered her with a white sheet. Princess sat next to her and waited till the coroner took her away. I remember that night Princess was looking for my mom and I looked at her and said, its just you and me now girl. Soon after my mom passed away I turned her old room into a guest room. It soon became Princess's bedroom. If I had a guest spend the night they had to share the bed with princess. I have given so much love to princess and in return thats what she gives back. She is an odd lil cat. Nothing scares her, not the vacum nothing. Last night she came in and just cuddled and wanted some attention from her daddy. She is also nosey as hell. She will run to the windows, front door and peek out when she hears someone walking by. I call her mrs kravitz from the tv show bewitched when she does that. She just cracks me up when she sits and peeks at everyone. Oh and I also found a job that I'd love to have. I'm hoping to hear back from them next week. You know its not just the money. Its also being back out in the world that I miss alot. Does that make sense to you? One of the reasons I'm here chatting so soon is I didnt want you to worry. After our chat yesterday I know I must have sounded a bit gloomy gloria. Just trying my hardest to chase those blues away. I think if all goes good next week I'm gonna ask mr perfect out to lunch. Oh just the thought makes me giggle like a crazy school girl. So how come you never leave me a message here letting me know how you are doing? Please do so. I love hearing from you. It always cheers me up when you do. Untill our next chat please be safe and wonderful. I will come back really soon for another chat I promise. I'm just here letting you know that, I'm ok...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for I'm ok . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

So alive again......

2011-01-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You're falling off a cliff and trying to grab onto something, anything. The fall is making your head spin. You cant catch your breath. You try and try to stop the fall. Yet you keep sinking deeper and deeper. As you sink further down the hole it becomes harder to see whats around you. If only someone was there to catch you. But sadly, nobody is around you. Why not climb out you might ask. Sadly you just cant see the light to get out. The climb out can take time. But once your out, you feel so alive again...... . Hello Sunshine. Its been awhile hasnt it? I hope all is well and wonderful with you. I know I have been gone for to too long. But my head is slowly clearing and I'm feeling better. I spun so far into a deep depression that I nearly checked myself into the hospital. I could barely get out of bed for days on end. It was really bad. When my head started to fill with really bad stuff I thought maybe it was time to seek out help. But slowly, very slowly I started to feel more and more like myself again. Princess stuck by me for days on end. There were days when she followed me around keeping an eye on me. I swear that cat knows me all so well. When my head gets so cloudy its hard for me to focus on anything. I cant think much less write. I dont like taking meds as they can turn me into a zombie. But it got so bad that I finally cut a pill in half just to help chase the blues away. Yesterday is when I finally felt semi human again. And being stuck in bed gives you a chance to ask yourself alot of questions. Like, where the fuck did my life go? Is it under the couch. Maybe in the cookie jar. Or perhaps its in the closet? It seems like only yesterday that I was able to have and enjoy a life. These days I'm just surviving. But I have to tell myself that it beats not surviving. Does that make sense? I will be on my facebook page and seeing what my friends are up to. And thats when it hits me. That I to used to have a life, lol. I want a life back and thats what makes me want to keep trying and trying. So today I took a shower and shaved and ran errands. It was nice being outside and saying hello to the world. I havent got one reply for a job in weeks. People keep telling me that january is one of the worst months to find a job. But try telling that to my bank account. Being poor suck ass. And not in the good way either. I have redone my resume once again. I just cleaned it up and removed somethings off of it. I'm really hoping my phone rings soon. I have never had such a problem finding work before. I was with my one job for over eight years. I'm not used to job jumping at all. I thought I'd have a job by now. But not one single call. And you know what else? The friends have all gone as well. I know we have chatted about this before. Finding gay friends that are not user losers is very hard. So many take what they can and breeze on by. Someone asked me if it was maybe because I keep picking the wrong friends. And that may very well be true. But when you find someone you click with and want to hang out with. You dont really think if this person is out for something. Or do you? I know it never crosses my mind untill its too late in the game. It just makes me sad that so called friends dont wanna be around if your in a slump. I have not done that to anyone. If someone I know is down I'm there to help pick them back up. I starting to think I'm a rare person. So many people only wanna be there when the disco ball is spinning. But when the lights come on they scatter like scared bugs. Now you know I hate sounding like a sad sally here. I did leave the house the other day and I just went and ran errands and took a long walk in the sunshine. It helped clear my head of all the junk. Clearing out the junk is always a good thing. I'm gonna really try and re join life again next week. I'm gonna force myself to go out one night. I need to find my old self. I think it can be found in the bathroom of a club somewhere, lol. I need to get my hair cut so bad. I'm really starting to look like a hippie. Perhaps next week I will get my do did. I'm gonna try and not stay away so long. My head is screwed back on once again. I'm feeling better and better everyday. I just have to keep the hope close to my heart. The hope that a job will come through. The hope that I will find my life once again. Its all these little things that add up to me feeling, So alive again...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for So alive again . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris

Fuck!!

2011-01-28T19:28:00.001-08:00

Surf Splice Swimwear

2011-01-10T17:33:00.001-08:00

Benjamin Godfre

2011-01-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

Shayne Ward - No U Hang Up

2011-01-10T17:06:00.001-08:00

Let me be me......

2011-01-09T20:25:00.001-08:00

Take me on a journey to the bottom of your soul. Take me on a journey while were in your world. I dont mind, see I dont care. You gotta a thousand chances while were in there.

Move till you cant see, close your eyes till your swept up in the mystery. I need nothing but you with me, take me. It's only love that makes me whole. It's only love, its only love that can set me free. Let me be free, let me be me......To Mr Perfect

Hello lollipop.

How are you doing today?

How have you been? I hope all is well in your world. Today I wanna chat about love. Love lost, love gained and love found. I do think that having been so far down the hole this past year has taught me so much.

I've learned to just try and let go of all the stupid bullshit. And if somebody doesnt wanna come along on my ride, then buh bye. Its much like the drama with the woman that is my sister. I'll let her hold on to all of her hate and sadness. But I have to say goodbye to that drama, and I have.

The other night I was thinking about love, when it starts and when it ends. When we fall out of love with someone. Where does that love go. Does it just drift out into the universe for someone else to use? Is there only so much love to go around?

I'll know when I have found the right guy. Someone that can just let me be me. Someone willing to deal with my faults and my inperfections. I'm only human and I dont claim to be perfect. I mean how can one ever be perfect. Perfection is so boring. After all thats why we have photoshop, lol.

And trust me when I tell you that I'm not a stranger to the photoshop, lol. I think part of growing as a person is owning up to your mistakes imperfections etc. I highly recommend having a horrid year and a breakdown to come to this realization, no I kid. I wouldnt want anyone to go through the hell that I have. Whats that old expression. What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.

Well whoever wrote that knew what the fuck they were talking about. Well Mr Perfect and I have chatted and I'm now ready to ask him to lunch. The man is just pure perfection and I swear he turns me into a pile of idiot jello. Idiot jello is when nothing that makes any kind of sense just runs out of your mouth.

I've told the universe I'm now ready to find love. I just hope that message hasnt been lost in some cabinet etc. I would love some love in my life right now. Just enough to fill my heart up a bit.

This past year robbed my heart of so much love I feel its now running on empty. Just a walking shell, a ghost of all things love lost. Almost like getting a shot is how I look at it. A giant shot of love pumped into my heart and soul.

I dont remember where I heard this saying. But it went something like 'The only thing worse then being in love. Is not being in love' and thats so true. You know that all consuming feeling of being so in love with a new love. Oh it wrecks me completely. That feeling that if he doesnt call your world will implode. And your heart beats so fast it feels like it will explode.

My past baggage has always been with guys that I thought I could fix. You know, the fixer uppers. Oh I can get him off drugs. Or, no he doesnt mean to call me those god awful names.

The last time this happened was over the summer. With the guy that sent me the text that read 'Gee your life really sucks right now' Oh really? Well thanks for cluing me into that fact asshole.

After he sent me that text I could see that once again I had found me another fixxer upper. And I have remodeled so many men I should have my own page in architectural mangist. I'm done with trying to fix people.

Men, family etc. Fix your own damm self. Come correct, M'kay?

Do you remeber when we first started our chats how I was so madly in love with Mr X? Now known as the selfish balding shit stain? He was another one I thought I could change. Yet no matter how hard I tried I could never remove the selfish stick that was lodged up his ass.

I'm not looking for a white knight on a horse. Just someone that isnt looking to use or hurt me. My heart is so gaurded now that I'm afraid I may never let the walls down and truly let the love flow back in.

Honey my heart has been stomped and shit on so many times I bet it now looks like Lindsay Lohans liver. You know its only love. So why does it scare me so much? Its like all the bad guys in my life have turned love into the boogie man.

I dont want to be afraid of something that I so really want. I almost just said, Really need and want. But do we really need love. I mean would we drop dead with out love? I dont think so. But I think it turns you into crazy cat person.

The one that cuts out cute comics and tapes them to the fridge. The one with more then 3 cats. The one that wears a yellow gold diamond pinkie ring. The one that wears man clogs and a mumu and owns a poodle.

Oh there is nothing more hideous in my book then anything that I just said. I once read a story about these two sisters that lived together. They were so lonely that they would stand on their front porch and wave at people as they drove by. Could love have saved them. Could a healthy shot of love have given their lifes a happy ending? Sadly they were both found dead holding hands in bed. Seems one died and the other one layed down and waited till death took her as well.

My biggest fear is becoming something like that. I dont wanna die alone and loveless. Love is such a mystery isnt it? We all go searching for it. Then when we find it, we screw it up. Or is that just me, lol.

I will never in a million years understand the people that stay in a loveless marriage or relationship. Lifes to short to just be with someone, to just be with them. I want fireworks and steam.

I want my heart to skip when I see him. I want to be wrapped up in his love. I want to once again know that feeling of the need. The needing him to be in my life. Its such a rare thing when you find that kind of love.

I dont ever want to take that feeling for granted again. Next time love comes waltzing into my life. I'm gonna make sure I'm wearing the most beautiful fucking dance shoes you've ever laid eyes on. Its only love that makes me whole. Its only love that can set me free. Set me free, let me be me......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for Let me be me

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Free......

2011-01-07T23:36:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm free, thank god I'm free. Free from the hatred and bullshit. Free from the shackle locked around my ankle. Free from the nasty looks and hurtful words. Freedom came at a price. The heart will soon recover. But the mind and spirt are now stronger. Cutting the ties that bind are tough. But once they are gone you can never look back. Freedom my friend tastes like heaven on a warm beach. The freedom of ones sanity is irreplaceable. Once you wave goodbye to lifes bullshit and replace it with love, you will be Free...... . Hello Buttercup. How have you been? It's been awhile since our last chat. Alot has happened and yet nothing has happened. Does this make since? This blog is all about letting go and embracing the love. Love is a very rare jewel. You must grab onto it and cherish it with every fiber in your body. First I must thank everyone for all the great mail you sent. I hope you know how much it means to me when you write me. So where oh where do I start our chat? Ok let me just start with wed night. I had made the decision to drop my sister and her husbands gifts off at her home. It was just that when I looked at them sitting in my house, it felt wrong. They were not bought for me, so they weren't mine. Anywho, so I dropped them off on her doorstep wed night. I was in her neck of the woods so I drove to her house and parked. My heart was pounding in my chest. I did not want an akward run in with her. So I prayed that she wouldnt hear me leaving them. So I get out of my car and snuck up to her doorstep. I could hear her husband talking on the other side of the door. I left them there also with a note telling her why I had taken them on christmas eve. So I leave them and walk back to my car. Just as I'm about to start the car up I see someone run out of her house and head in the opposite direction. I wasn't sure what I had just seen. So as I'm driving away I see that its her husband. He was jogging with one of their dogs. He stopped and looked at my car. I dont think he knew it was me as they have not seen my new car. Plus the windows have a heavy tint on them. As I was driving away from her house I was hit with the weirdest feeling. I was so peaceful and calm and filled with a feeling of lightness. It felt like all the hurt and anger I had toward her were drifting out of my body and the car. The farther I drove away from her house the happier I became. It was almost like leaving the gifts at her house was like leaving behind all the old baggage. It was a wonderful and cathartic feeling. So stupid me was expecting a thank you call. But sadly it never came. Anyways cut to the next day. I get an e-mail from sister. It started off nice enough but then went downhill fast. It was more finger pointing of why she loathes me etc. And more crap dug up from years ago. So I responded that the gifts came from a pure and loving place. But sadly I nolonger wanted or needed her in my life. I mean how can I miss someone I dont even know? So I really thought that was that. But Ohhhhhhhh no. Sister had to have the last word. She wrote me back today saying she doesnt want to see me either and that I needed help etc, lol. Who knew that buying someone christmas presents meant they needed help. I responded to her to please leave me alone as I thought she was insane. I then blocked all her e-mail addresses, deleted her numbers from my phone and blocked her from seeing me anywhere on facebook. Its sad to me that she cant let go of the past, I have also learned that she had been telling people in my family her lopsided version of what has been going on for the past few years. Well shame on her, shame on her. I will no longer be the villain in her stories. I have given my version to a few people and have heard stories of her nasty attitude as well. As I sit her telling you this I do so with a lightness in my heart. I can only do so much. I can lead the horse to water. But I cant make it brush its teeth. I mean how do you miss something you never had or never knew? It feels like there has finally been an ending to a long running tragic story. The book has been closed and I fell fucking fantastic. I have held alot back from her re things my mom told me about sister. I didnt want to hurt her feelings as our mother had just passed away etc. I still will never tell her. I simply just dont want her or her anger in my life anylonger. Lightness and love are now in my life. I'm letting the universe know I'm ready for love to enter my door. 2011 is about letting go of the hatred and embracing the love. I just hope with all my heart that sister will someday do the same. Her hatred will eat her up heart and soul. I'm having lunch with My ex T next week. I so enjoy his company and he treats me like gold. I'm trying with all my might to step back into my old life. It seems like every week life throws me a road block. I'm doing my best to drive around them with out getting run over. I was offered a job, but I'm thinking it over. The money is crap and the job isnt what I'd call a challange. I spoke with T on the phone and I'm really looking forward to seeing him. Princess is doing great and sends her love. Her boyfriend Puss Puss is sleeping on the bed as I sit her chatting with you. So my love, whats new with you? Feel free to drop me a note telling me whats up. Tell me your secrets and your darkest feelings. It just may very well set you Free...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune For Free. . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris

To Mr Perfect......

2011-01-07T23:10:00.001-08:00

To Mr Perfect......

2011-01-07T23:05:00.001-08:00

Holiday Bondage

2010-12-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

Tied up, wrapped up. Happy holidays they all scream out. Alone and forgotten I have to laugh at their false cheer. Merry christmas has never felt more like a cold knife in my heart.

Colored lights and tinsel hang around my neck like a noose. I'm slowly being killed by the holiday hustle and bustle. So many unhappy faces searching for that perfect something.

Holiday cheer turns to holiday fear. The fear of once again being all alone. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. The heat of the flames burn me right to the core.

Trying hard to find my holiday cheer in this sea of nothingness. Santa forgot where I lived and passed me by. Christmas morning and my tree was bare. Merry christmas I hear in the background. Whats so merry about it I have to ask.

Maybe I'm a scrooge. Or perhaps I'm just one of millions that have been forgotten. Happy holidays they say? I'm begging, please remove the misery that keeps me in this holiday bondage......

Hello my beautiful winter wonderland.

How are you doing on this cold winter night? I'm sitting here just having a massive case of the blues. I normally dont like to sit down and have our chat when I'm in this state.

Nobody likes a sad sally I say. But here I am wearing my misery on my sleeve. And its torn as well. Things are just looking kind of bleak at the moment. My phone hasnt rung at all regarding an interview etc. I'm getting very worried as my money is very close to being gone.

I hate sounding like the grinch that stole christmas. It's just so hard for me to find any holiday cheer when all I wanna do is stay in bed and do nothing. And after christmas eve with my family I know I will never ever have any kind of relationship with twisted sister.

The get together was nice and pleasent and the food was great. I even got stoned with my 2 male cousins. I went and bought presents for twisted sister and her husband. Only to have her ignore them and kick them to the side so she could walk by.

And the final straw for me was having her husband say to me, it was nice seeing you 'jerry'. He called me JERRY! How the fuck do you get jerry out of jayden? Now I know that game as I have played it myself.

So I snuck out of the party grabbing sisters gifts with me as I bailed. I was going to spend the night at my aunts house. That way christmas morning wouldnt be so dreadful. Well she had company flying in on christmas and kept saying, oh I cant believe I have to clean all day tomorrow.

Then after her ranting and raving she looks at me and says, oh you still wanna spend the night? I mean with that warm invite how could I pass it up? Well I did, and I drove home.

Christmas day was me and Princess and Puss Puss. I watched movies and tryed so hard to stay in a happy state of mind. But I gotta be honest, it did hurt being all alone on christmas.

No presents and no cheer. But I have to remind myself that its only the now. And the future is just around the corner. It's that lil glimmer of hope that the future holds that keeps me going.

If ever I needed a secret santa it would be right now. And now I have to deal with new years eve. Do I risk going out and spending cash that I shouldnt? Or do I ring in a new year with the 2 P's? Princess and Puss Puss are the 2 P's, lol.

And all of this got me thinking about my search for love. I wonder if I was in a better place in life if love would on my mind so much. I do know that having someone else to lean on would be a blessing right now.

I dont like the person that looks back at me in the mirror these days. I dont see a happy person anymore. In his place stands someone afraid and alone. And I have to say, I fucking hate it. But finding my joy is so hard right now. Where has it gone?

If you see my joy will you please tell it to get the fuck back here. This past year has been so brutal on me. I'm shocked that I havent ended up in a padded room. I just wake up and somehow make it through yet another day of nothingness.

No job, no money, no love etc etc etc etc etc etc. I just wanna run away screaming the whole time. I have to say that you really know who your true friends are when your down and out. And sadly I dont have many left around me.

I have been dropped like a hot potato by so many that I'm suprised my mind isnt mashed potatoes. I'm sorry if I'm super sad sally right now. But this is where my head and heart are right now.

And sadly my panic attacks are returning ten fold. They are hitting me so hard its as if I'm falling off a cliff. I hate to take pills for them but I dont feel like I have much choice in the matter.

Bleak and blank is what I feel like right now. Kind of like an empty shell just waiting for the wind to take it away. I'm sure tomorrow will bring something better. I really need something good to happen. Just a little joy goes along way, doesnt it?

And nothing makes you feel more alone then the holidays. A time when people are with loved ones enjoying gifts and good company. And those things seem to have forgotten me.

I got one gift this year. A box of candy. Gifts to me arent so much about the things in the boxes. Its about the love behind the gift. So its like I had no love this year. Does that make sense?

Anyways I dont mean to bring you down. This is just whats pouring out of my mind, spirt and heart right now. Oh I did get a chance to chat with Mr Perfect the other night. I'm telling you, one night with him would make up for this shitty year.

I'm putting it out in the universe. So universe, since santa didnt bring him my way. Maybe you could find a way to get him to me. Joy and happiness are what I seek right now. And I have a feeling nirvana lies between his sexy legs.

Oh god I'm a holiday whore, lol. A goodtime sally to be had by all. But I think a goodtime sally sure beats a sad sally, dont cha agree? I need something to pull me out of the blahs. Anything to set me free of all this Holiday Bondage......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Tune for holiday bondage

Blog Header Created By Boris.

We March On

2010-12-20T19:50:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Million's of kisses fall from the sky. Millions of tears for sunshine to dry. And simon says, let them float away. Open up your flower, come get naked with me. Music take me whole, tie me up in melody. Just a touch is all we need, just a kiss. There are the sunflowers, open up the flower, we march on. And so they came, twenty thousand fishes flying down from the sky. Poka dot sun is apple hot. I'm bigger now when I stretch in the clouds. My feet are bigger then three lagoons. And I can roll like a monkey or like a beach ball bouncing high. I touch everything as I roll. The fish tickle my skin. The trees feel so nice on my knees. And nothing is crushed. My hand stretches for a thousand miles. Within the spiral of infinite cosmic coil. Cows they yodel like dogs, I'm smaller now, smaller now. Theres no way to see through the window now. And with this lost, my tears are lost. My dreams and idle fantasies lay in front of me as dust. But we get up and dust ourselves off. And we march on...... . Hello Raindrop. How is your day going? It's still pouring rain here. I'm waiting for my house to just float away. I was going to run and pick up some stuff today. But I just didnt feel like going out in all that mess. You know something hit me today. There shouldnt be any shame in really sharing how you feel. I know I hate telling people how I'm REALLY feeling. But no more. There is nothing wrong with me telling you that I'm depressed and felling a bit sad, is there? I just dont feel like putting on the brave mask anymore. So I'm just gonna roll with my feelings from now on. I just feel so lost in the world right now. I miss so much in my life. I miss my mom, my old place, having someone to love etc. But being a sad sally during the holidays is a big no no. People are so conditioned to be jolly and merry this time of year. But fuck it, I'm just not in the mood. I wish I could find a very very dark green 'almost black' christmas tree. I would just put black lights and black ornaments on it. Oh dont get me wrong, it would be stunning. But it would really reflect whats in my heart right now. Beautiful n dark! I've always said if I could I would just fly to maui for 2 weeks during the holidays. Lay my fat ass under a thatched umbrella pilled out of my mind with a delish cocktail. Now that to me would be heaven on earth. But you know I tell people my dream, and they look at me as if I just clubbed their child over the head. I guess if you dont follow the leader, then your left on the sidelines. I dont mind the sidlines, its just a little lonely here. But I deal with being lonely and march on. Because really what else is there? There is still so much I want to do with my life. And I'm not ready to check out, so I march on. I heard from Rob, my guy that now lives in canada. I love that man so much, but he is now thousands of miles away. It figures I find a guy that I adore and he feels the same, and he has to move away. He always calls me when I'm feeling blue and he can put a smile back on my face. Not so sure if I could make a go of it in canada, or I'd be with his hot ass right now. He is everything I love in a man. He is smart, has a sweet soul, tall. Goodlooking and hung like a horse, lol. Something in my karma seems to take everything I love in life away from me. What did I do to get the karma cloud on my head? But once again I hang up with him and I march on. I'm going to my cousins house on christmas eve for dinner. It should be nice but for one thing. My sister will be there and I havent spoken to her in over six months. She treated our mother like this and now she has chosen to do the same to me. But I really dont miss her as I just dont know her. She has such a bitter heart and its a shame really. Perhaps one day she will change, untill then I dont really think of myself as having a sister. And it once again goes back to the subject of having a guy in my life. If I had one it would just smooth out all these rough edges of my life. I'm not looking at it as a cure all. But it would make lifes bumps a lot smoother. Does that make sense to you? Anyways I'm just running off at the mouth here, lol. I havent even asked how your doing. So my love, how are you doing today? Oh and what are your plans for the holidays? I do hope you will let me know. And please dont be afraid to drop me a message here. I wont bite I promise. I need to figure out what to make for dinner here. And I better gi check on Princess. She and I are both hungry. But at least she has a man in her life. Princess is my lil friend in life. Always keeps me company and just gives me pure love. And we both just, March On...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for We March On . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

I Like You

2010-12-19T15:23:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You gotta a great car whats wrong with it today? I used to have one to maybe you'll come and have a look. I really love your hairdo, I'm glad you like mine to. See what looking pretty cool will get ya? So what do you do, oh ya I used to do that to. No I havent heard that band, cause they are still so new. But if you dig good food well come over to my house and I'll cook you something that you'll really love. Cause I like you ya I like you. And I feel whoa ho woo! Wait whose that guy just hanging at your pad? He's looking kinda bummed. Yeah, you broke up, that's too bad. I guess it's fair if he always pays the rent and he doest get bent about sleeping on the couch when I'm there. Cause I like you, yeah I like you yeah I like you yeah I like you. I'm getting wise It's you that I want, so please just a casual, casual easy thing is it? It is for me. And I like you and I like you I like you I like you I like you and I feel Whoa ho who!...... . Hello my rainy day rainbow. How are you doing on this wet and super rainy day? It's been pouring rain here for the past 2 days. I'm about ready to build a fucking ark. But I'd just fill it with really hot guys from all races, lol. Been a busy weekend for me. As you know I had that party to work and attend on friday. And let me tell you this, it went over like paris hiltons acting career 'SPLAT'. The promoters kind of treated us like we didnt matter. The vip table promised to us was never given. And they moved us way in the back near the kitchen 'the nerve'. The crowd was the c list hollywood crowd. Hanger on's and wanna be's. Never in my lkife have I seen so many people dressed in things that didnt fit or just looked like they were trying to hard. And the big nasty fucked up cherry on top was that Mr Perfect never showed up. Not a text, call, e-mail, nadda! I was wrecked. I had spent hours putting myself together for this man. At least he could have walked through and waved at me, lol. And none of my backups came as well. Oh I'm just mad more at myself I guess. Another daydream crashed in my lap that night. Silly me standing there with pretty fantasies swirling through my mind. The reality was that nobody showed and it stung a bit. I mean was it me, or them? Meaning do I not matter, or do they have no fucking manners? But to be fair, it was pouring rain and it is the holiday season. I know Mr Perfect had things to do with his job. Oh look at me twirling and spinning over something so stupid. At the end of the day does any of this shit really matter? No it doesnt. But I think its the little crap like this that we use to fill up our days. With out the small stuff what do we have? Well I mean for me at least it helps fill me up with something. Is that sad? Oh god I'm becoming sad sally alone at the dance. Oh I guess even if I was sad sally it wouldnt really matter. I just dont want to become sad sally alone at the punch bowl of life. Its really pouring rain outside today. It's days like this that I miss having a Mr right in my life. I've had enough Mr rights nows, I want Mr right. But we both know what I REALLY want is Mr perfect. The man is nice, smart, so goodlooking it makes your teeth hurt. Plus the times we have been together I can tell he is a man that doesnt take any shit from people. Oh I just love a strong man, dont you? Yesterday as I was driving I had a thought about something. Really super good looking people as they age. Think about it for a second. Looks are almost a currency. They can buy so much in life. All the beautiful men and woman that get anything and everything their hearts desire. And all just because they are beautiful. But the flip side is the curse of beauty. The curse being, aging. As they age their beauty fades and what are they left with? Its a sad tale seen on the faces of many here in la la land. Stretched skin, puffed lips, fake hair etc. Trying every trick know to man to turn the clock back and regain the power that is beauty. I'm so glad that I grew into my looks. Does that make sense to you? I'm so not above plastic surgery. I have had a few adjustments myself. But thats between me and Dr Fisher, lol. What I'm saying is that growing up in the shadow of beauty can limit a person, I think. You dont have to try so hard so you skate through life on the wings of your beauty. But as I said, when that fades and goes away what are you left with? A person that now has to discover who they are and what is it they can really do. It must be hard having been the beauty and have all eyes on you. Only to wake and one day notice that all eyes are now on another. I'm so thankful for my sense of humor and my passion for writing. I dont think I'd have either if I had been born with a silver spoon on my face. But am I a hypocrite. Because I worship at the altar of beauty just like everyone else? It is a tricky thing beauty is. I guess you cant live with it and you cant live with out it. But at the end of the day none of it really matters does it? All that matters to me is becoming, Jayden 'Mr Perfects last name', lol. Yes I must admit it. I'm a shallow person. There I said it. Throw stones at me if you wish. Just dont hit my face, I've spent to much money on it, lol. So my lil ray of sunshine. How are you doing today? Please feel free to let me know. You know how much I love hearing from you. And always remember that, I Like You...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for I like You . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

The Sun is Down

2010-12-15T16:59:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . It's time for me to go and work, and nobody else. When I'm alone I like to walk, caressed by the wind. Look at the stars and the moon. The stars shine on the ocean. Maybe the ocean is to cold. That mirror, oh that mirror. I'm throwing it in the ocean. It's time for me to go and walk. I'll be ok with out it. The sun is down in the secret garden. I like it, ya. The darkness surrounds me like a lost love. Love the way it feels on my skin. The sun is down, it's getting so dark...... . Hello snow flake. How is your life going? I hope you have been touched with some joy and happiness today. A touch of anything is sometimes all you need to lift you up. Can I get an amen? Sorry I just stepped away. The cat fountain I have in the bedroom broke and I tryed to fix it. Its a bowl with a fountain in the middle of it that Princess uses to drink water out of. I guess I have to trudge back to the store to get it replaced. She has one in the kitchen as well. But she seems to enjoy using this one the most. Its only about 2 months old. And yet it breaks! Today it got so cold and dark. It was like someone hit a switch and the warm wave we had was gone. Princess Puss Puss and myself are all just waiting for the big storm thats supposed to hit tonight. I want to thank everyone for the great messages and mail you left or sent me. And to Dave S, I have never said Mr Perfects name, have I? Oh god I never know what I blab to you in here, lol. Ok so picture yesterday, M'kay? I had to drop off all my tools and samples from my last job to their offices in downtown los angeles. Now mind you it was a ton of stuff. Thank god my friend has one of those carts you use for trips to the store etc. So I loaded up my car and headed to downtown. I had bought a large diet Dr Pepper and enjoed it in the car. Well by the time I got there I had to take a massive piss. So I found parking 'six dollars' loaded up the cart and headed to the building. I'm holding in my pee and trying to cross the street with this stupid ass cart full of skin machines and product. Now I felt like crazy homeless person with that dumb fucking cart in my hands. So I get in the elevator and head up to the office. I find a mens room and rush in like mad. I swear I took a piss so hard it would have knocked 3 grown men over. I trudge into the office and Mr Sexy greats me. Of course I'm in sweats and not shaved. Mr sexy is about 25, 5ft10, dark brown hair and eyes and a voice that could melt butter. He looks perfect and I felt like I was standing there in my robe, fuzzy slippers and curlers in my hair. So I drop all the crap off and chit chat with a few people and off I go. I went and worked my part time job and it just sucked the life out of me. It was very cold yesterday and my energy was on another planet. Now I'm wearing my nylon sweats and not looking my best, but. I swear some people just roll out of bed and leave their homes. Mirrors people, do we not own them? I at least shower and comb my hair. I saw this one woman, bless her, but. She was about 5ft4, 350 lbs, wearing lycra shorts, flip flops, and a tube top. No shame in her game. But the topper was her dirty wig on lopsided. I finished my part time job and headed home. I heard back from Mr Perfect about the party. He just asked what time it started. So I replyed and had visions of his sweet ass spinning on my face like a holiday dradle. Lord knows the filthy wicked gutter things I want to do to that hunk of perfection. Just once around the bed with that man would be enough. Or would he be like a potato chip. You know, you can never just eat one. Oh what do I wear that night? I'm thinking all black. You can never go wrong in head to toe black, dont cha know. I have also planned a back up plan as well. I have invited my number two dream man. He is a male model with such a deep voice it makes your toes curl. Now if I cant have Mr Perfect there, than Mr Hottness will do just fine. I also have invited back up guy number 3, 4 ,5 etc. I just wanna flirt and have fun that night. Question. Do you have Twitter and do you like it? I have an account but I find myself going there less and less. I live for my facebook tho. This is a message for Will. When are you gonna just clean up your past so you came come back? I think its time you wrote a letter to those in charge and come 100% clean. No more tales etc. You know if you want to find me on FB its not that hard. Just send me a note and we can be friends on there as well. Wll my dears its getting cold here and I need to turn on the heater. I hope your doing well and I cant wait for friday night. I just hope and pray that Mr perfect shows up. It would make my night, week etc. I want to have fun with him in my world that night. I just hope it doesnt rain that night. I hate when it rains when your going out. I just hate when, The Sun is Down...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for The sun is down . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris. . . . The sun is down, in my secret garden......

Rattle Rattle

2010-12-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The future is right now. It's in every breath you take, rattle rattle. The past is behind you. It's right over your shoulder, rattle rattle. If you wanna be the question I'd like to be you're answer, rattle rattle. Sometimes we fall down the hole, rattle rattle. What side you end up on depends upon where your head is, rattle rattle. Come over my way and let me love you, rattle rattle. I promise you wont be sorry, rattle rattle. Give yourself to me we can be together and walk the world forever, rattle rattle...... . Hello my little skittle. How are you doing today? I hope all is wonderful in your world today. It's a balmy n beautiful 86 here today. Wearing flip flops in december is something to behold. And I know how much JP loves men in flip flops, lol. Ok that was an inside joke, sorry. So you wanna know where I have been huh? Well I have been all over the place to be honest with you. I went to the party in plam springs and had a blast. I wasnt sure if I was gonna go, but the night before I decided to just go. So I picked up my phone and made a hotel reservation and packed up some stuff. The next day which was saturday I woke up and fed the cats. Jumped in the shower and got ready to go. The drive down there was pleasant but a tad over an hour long. Palm springs is in the desert and its stunning in the winter time. The mountains were all snow capped and it was magical. There was a christmas parade that night in town so it was hard as hell getting to my hotel. My phones gps kept telling me to turn right ahead. I was in tears screaming at her 'it's a female voice' I cant turn right here, lol. What should have taken me five minutes, took nearly 40 minutes to get to my hotel. I got there, checked in and went and unpacked and flopped on the bed. I went and got dinner and just enjoyed being alone in the desert. I went back to my hotel and jerked off and took a long and wonderful bubble bath. I got ready and popped a vicoden and headed off to the party. The vicoden which I call vitamin v just takes the edge off. I can get stressed out from worrie etc. But with my v it just takes the rough edges off. And if I have a problem with v, then I dont really care, lol. I'd rather be edge free and happy then be all edgy and moody. The party was only four miles from my hotel. I just punched in the address into my gps which I call Eva. My phone is the evo4 so thats why I call the navigation system Eva. Well Eva got me there safe and sound and I could tell there were already a ton of people there. It was at my friend Andrews weekend house. So I found parking and off I went. This was the first year I went to this party solo, and I was a bit stressed out about it. This house is set up with a huge wall around it and the front yard is really the back yard. The pool is off to the right when you first walk in. The place was packed as I made my way in. I found a few people I knew and said hello. I needed a drink so I found the bar fast. One of the bartenders was Steven. I have known him for about four years now, we hugged and said hello. Steven is so sexy, about 6ft4, dark brown hair and eyes and pouty lips. I think he is around 30. Anyways he is hot but I never had thoughts of his cock stuffed in my mouth. Weird huh? The other bartender was new and his name was Ryan. A total doll about 5ft11, 24 years old light brown hair and green eyes. Really cute face with a great smile. Now him I could totally picture sitting on my face. With cocktail in hand I made my way through the party saying hello to everyone. I moved from groups to groups staying for awhile and chatting away. I got a really nice buzz on and it felt like heaven with a bit of candy on the side. I just chatted with tons of different people and I must say it was nice not being there with anyone. It was cold there but Andrew had gas heaters set up all over the place. There are these giant swans in the pool that you can float on. Well four drag queens went in the pool and floated on them. Well sure enough one fell off and all you heard was 'SPLUNK' and down she went, lol. This blond wig floated to the surface before her and soon her head popped up. Everyone was looking to see what happened and she just laughed and got out of the pool dripping wet. She went in the house and came back out about 20 mins later sans wet wig. I had to give her credit for pulling himself back together. She dried her outfit off and fixed her makeup threw on a santa hat and rejoined the party. The booze was free so I was not at all shy in having a lil cocktail or 2, or 4 or 5. I had some food inside the house and mingled and just had fun. Steven pulled me aside around 2am asking if I could drive him back to his hotel. I said sure and he went off to finish bartending. I stayed till around 3am but was getting so tired. Steven found me and asked if I was ready to go. I said sure and we snuck out with out having to say long goodbyes. Well I guess people saw us leaving together and everyone assumed I left with him to go have sex. The truth was I dropped him off at his hotel. Picked up some food and went back to my hotel. After a nice hot shower I got into bed and had a snack and soon fell asleep. I drove home on sunday and when I got back home I was just wiped out. Other then that and last night, which I will get to soon. I have been job hunting like crazy. I had one call but after getting details of the job I passed. It was working in a field I know I could never do. Ok I just ate dinner right now and it was yummy.Ok so Andrew was having a party at the chateau marmont last night. He had gotten a giant suite there with a baby grand piano in it. The marmont is a very famous hotel on sunset blvd in hollywood. After having a mini nervous breakdown on what to wear I headed out the door to the hotel. Traffic was a fucking mess and it took forever to get there. I had invited my friend Jason to come and had to call him to tell him I was going to be late. So I pull up to have my car valet parked and was met with such an attitude I almost went off. I finally got them to park my car and when I got out I told them, listen I'm stressed and havent had a mood elevator pill yet. Just then my friend Jason was walking up and we went inside. Oh and right as we were walking in we saw that blond cute guy from the tv show glee. A total doll and I had nasty thoughts of his round lil blond ass. Got up to Andrews room and he gave me a very strong valium. It hit the spot as it slid down my throat along with a strong cocktail. The suite had a very large patio that ran the length of the hotel. We went out and had cocktails on the patio. There was a yummy warm breeze in the air and that along with the view of the city made it just charming. One of my favorite people was there. Her name is Sara, pronounced Sah-ra. Very british. She is the creator of a really great cosmetic line. I sat down with her and gave her an idea I had for a cosmetic product. She loved it and we were soon on the patio chatting away. My friend Jason was chatting away with other guests there and I was having a grand time. We took pics and were all laughing etc. Then Andrew let it out. The words I dreaded hearing, we have to go to kennys party now. Now dont get me wrong I adore kenny. But hun, his partys make watching paint dry an event. So we went downstairs and got in a cab and off we went to kennys holiday party. He always has great food and booze. Its just that the people there make you wanna jump off the roof from boredom. I was soon so bored I could hear the thoughts in my head go, rattle rattle. There were a few there that I knew so I chatted with them. I was getting a bit sluggish from the valium so someone pulled me out of the party and gave me 2 giant lines of coke 'dont judge'. This coke was like a magical unicorn flying through the air. The shit was that good and smooth. The coke soon kicked in and I was floating. But then Andrew did what he does. He left with out telling me. He left me at borevill. I was so angry that he did that. I sent him a text just as he was sending me one. He asked me to not be mad but he didnt want to go to the celeb party that sara wanted to go to so he snuck out. I pulled Jason aside after he had also just done a lil coke. I told him we had to slip out and get a cab back up to the marmont. So we called and got a cab and hid in some bushes untill it came. The cab came and we jumped in and told him to take us back to heaven. We got back and Andrew and 2 others were at the marmont patio resturant. So Jason and myself joined them. I was enjoying a yummy lemon drop cocktail and was thinking how warm it was on the resturant patio. Well I looked up and saw giant outdoor heaters blasting away. I had to smile to myself at how my brain was total rattle rattle at that point. The waiters that work there are all so yummy. I wanted at least 4 of them. I had visions of a giant dirty gangbang with them. It was closing in on 2 am and I needed to get home. Jason and I said goodbye to Andrew and I thanked Andrew and off we went. I dropped Jason off at his car and drove home. When I got home I just passed out in bed with Princess and Puss Puss. Today was a mellow day of cleaning and doing laundry etc. I have been invited to an ultra chic event this friday. Its at one of those super in crowd clubs in hollywood. I invited Mr Perfect and told him I have a private table with table service etc. I sure hope he comes as that would just make me, Rattle Rattle...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune For Rattle Rattle . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. . Blog Header Created By Boris.

Scritti Politti " Petrococadollar"

2010-12-06T01:10:00.000-08:00

Laura Veirs - "I Can See Your Tracks"

2010-12-06T00:57:00.000-08:00

Dancing

2010-12-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

Thoughts

2010-12-01T01:10:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . .

. . . . . You could find a station with talking for me. Try to think again about tuesday maybe. Boy I'm so excited you'll beg for mercy. I tried having thoughts but they dont obey me. I know where the time can go really slowly. I'll wait here for your answer. Did I hear that you called. You can bet your sweet dollar I wont remember. I've been on the market since last july. I'll call a name for someone to blame. You said you gotta have a reason for a revolution. He said if you dont have the answer you dont need the why. I'm very strange about love...... . Hello Pine Cone. How are you doing today? I hope all is fine as candy with you. Well first things first, so here goes. I was laid off today, yet again. I cant stand this. I mean how hard is it to find a fucking job that lasts more then a few months these days? I have never job jumped this much in my life. I have my head hunter searching for me again. And money wise I will be ok untill around febuary. I had a feeling this was coming on as I hadn't been booked for december and here it was Nov 30th. These big companies always like to wipe their books clean before december. So I wasnt shocked when I got the call today. So I'm hoping to be back working in 2 weeks. Anywaaaaaaays thats that and I'm really not in the mood to be sad again. Been there done that and I'm over it. So how was your thanksgiving? Thats if you live somewhere that celebrates it. Mine was lovely. I spent it once again with my family. It was at my cousin Lori's townhouse. She has a great place on the water. It was small and the best part was twisted sister wasnt there. The food was wonderful and everyone was great. I found out 2 days ago that twisted sister will be at the christmas eve get together and that makes me not want to go. I have already said I couldnt make it. But now I'm thinking why should I let 'her' make me miss it. So what do you think. Should I go and just ignore the harpy? You must give me your opinion on this. Just leave me your thoughts here, Mkay? Oh and its still so fucking cold here. I swear I had ice hanging from my nads the other night. Oh I almost for got to tell you. Tonight at the store I saw some porn star. But I dont know his name, lol. I've seen his work, if ya know what I mean. Oh and can you believe it's time for the palm springs christmas party again? I know I have written about this before. I cant get over how far back our chats go. It's been well over 2 years now. Hmmm lets see here what else has been going on. I have that big party this saturday in palm springs to go to. That should be alot of fun. I just wish I had some great guy to go with. You know he has to be out there somewhere. So why is it I havent found his ass yet? There are so many movies I want to see right now. The new harry potter movie and that one with Cher in it as well. I just hate going when a movie is hot and your sitting there with a ton of people. It make me nervous as hell. I just hate being in massive crowds. Unless of course I'm on a very strong pill of some sort. For the longest time I could never figure out why I didnt have a goodtime in clubs etc. I now know its due to crowds making me nervous as hell. I'm still doing really well on this diet. And soon my jeans should be lose and zipping up on me like before. Today after the call about my job I just wanted to shove my whole face in a rich gooey chocolate cake. But I didnt. I had a peach and a few pretzels and thought of a flat belly. So whats new with you? Have you been doing well. I hope things have been wonderful and grand in your life. I'm getting a bit sleepy here so I think I'm gonna end our chat in a bit. Princess is doing great and she and Puss Puss are so close now its scary. The other day I came in the bedroom and they were on the bed sleeping. She had her head on his body near his head and they were sound asleep. I'm glad she has someone to play with while I'm gone during the day. Or should I say, was gone during the day, lol. I have so much to do tomorrow. I need a pedicure and need to get my brows done. I also need to get my do did. So lovah let me know how you've been, ok? Just sit down write me a message and share with me your Thoughts...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for thoughts . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. Blog Header Created By Boris.

Just Because

2010-12-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

LOVER

2010-11-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hard that I'm gonna hear about you, oh about you baby I do. Hard that I'm gonna be with out you, oh with out you baby I do. I stand to lose if I love you, you stand to gain. We stand for all who believe in vain. Let's fall in love and be glad to get it over, oh I'm over baby for you. Call her and tell her that it's over, oh it's over baby it's through. I got the time that you left me. You got the keys to the car. We got the nerve to have got this far. Heard your the hero of virtue, oh I heard it baby it's true. Heard how your honesty had hurt you, oh I heard it baby it's true. I found a new hermeneutic I found a new paradigm. I found a plan just to make you mine. Now I know that I need you to be near me, be near me baby. I do know that I need you boy to hear me, oh you hear me baby you do. Come back and give me a reason, come back and take me away. Come back and mean all the things you say. I'm telling you baby cause baby it's true. I'm gonna be the lover to fall for you. I'm telling you baby cause baby it's true I'm gonna be the lover that falls for you......Dedicated to Mr Perfect. . Hello Lover. How are you doing today? It's once again raining here today. I swear I feel like I'm living in england. We are also getting whats called an arctic blast of cold weather. Now remember I live in so calif, and I'm not used to it getting down to 38 degrees at night. I had the heat on last night and both Princess and Puss Puss were in bed with me. To cold for those two as well. Ok so whats new with you? My job is still going on. I just never know from week to week. They could pull the plug on the account I'm working on at any second. I have an interview tomorrow with a huge cosmetic line. It would be for a freelance artist that travels to stores. Not really sure if its anything I want. But it never hurts to look, dont ya think? I have been staying close to home as I'm trying to once again save up some money. You know I cant believe how time flys by so fast. Can you believe that we have been in here for almost two years chatting? When I run out of space on this blog I will just start a new one. But I will keep this one open for an archive. Princess has become such a cuddle monster. I mean sometimes she follows me around the house. And then she wants to be right next to me in bed. She is sleeping at the foot of the bed right now. It's nice and toasty in my bedroom right now. It's 8.04 pm as I'm typing this and its a wet 62 degrees out side as well. Why is it when it gets cold outside and the holidays are near I think of one thing. Where is my Mr right? I wonder what it is about this time of the year that sets me to thinking about that. Now I'm not looking for a knight on a white horse and all that nonsense. Just someone that makes my heart skip and dance. Someone to watch movies with and share life with. I have kissed so many fucking frogs that I now have warts on my heart. The man that I want so bad 'Mr Perfect' doesnt go my way I'm afraid. We are getting to know each other as friends. There is just so much I like about him. But I have to wonder if the main reason I want him is cause I cant have him. Yet another way to torture myself. Why is it that we always want what we cant have? Oh but baby what I'd give for one hot sweaty night with him between the sheets. I'd knock his socks back to fucking china and then all the way to hawaii. He is just breathtaking in so many ways. We have the same sense of humor etc. Oh baby I want him. Cant you put a pretty red bow on him and slip him under my christmas tree? Now thats a present that I would open with my teeth. But as I said I dont think we shall ever know each other the way I'd really like. So if it doesnt happen by christmas I will simply move him into the friend box and move on. But I must admit I'm so enjoying crushing on him. I was working the other day and got hit on by a very sexy latin guy I'll call Frisco. Well all I could think about was Mr Perfect and I let Frisco slip through my foolish fingers. But I mean its like this. If you really want to wear a red shirt. Then wearing the blue shirt isnt going to feel as good would it? Does that make sense to you? Can you stand that its almost 2011? Seems like life is just racing past my face and I'm standing here stuck in mud. It's going to be thanksgiving here 'in the states' on thursday. I'm driving to my cousins who has a beautiful place on the water. I already paid for 2 pies and I'm picking them up wed night. As you know I cant cook for shit. I mean I can do some dishes ok. But I'm just not that great of a cook. Perhaps if I had someone 'Mr Perfect' to cook for then it would be different. I'm putting it out in the universe that I want him. Right now I'm eating food on a program. I'm trying to lose the weight I put on during my depression. I just want my jeans to not be so fucking tight, lol. Where you live do you celebrate thanksgiving? I better get running along here. I will stop in so we can chat reall soon, ok? Dont be a stranger here. Leave me a message letting me know how your doing. And if you see Mr Perfect. Tell him I'm here waiting for him to be my, Lover. Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for Lover. .

Blog Header Created By Boris.

aussieBum - Journey

2010-11-21T01:24:00.001-08:00

Behind The Scenes Swim 2010 UnderGear

2010-11-21T01:11:00.000-08:00

Be Near Me

2010-11-19T21:48:00.001-08:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My name is Jayden. J-a-y-d-e-n! Who needs the moon, when we have the stars? All my dreams came true last night. All my hopes and fears. Never felt like kneeling until I met you. Never felt like kneeling, now I do. The message is perfectly simple, the meaning is clear. Dont ever stray to far and dont disappear, be near me...... . Hello my love bunny. How are you doing today? I hope all is well and dandy in your world. I've been on a break from writing. I have just had so damm much on my mind. But today the clouds parted and I saw some sunshine for the first time in god knows how long. Things are running along smoothly. And I have to say its rather weird. Its almost as if I'm waiting for something bad to happen. I need to learn to just accept the good things that happen in life. It seems I have spent so much time dealing with lifes misery's that I cant seem to accept the good. The new job is going very well and I have not only met my numbers. But for the past 3 weeks I have been number one on the west coast. It's really nice being where I am right now. I just want this feeling to last a long time. Oh and I almost forgot to tell you this nugget. I'm writing this blog on my new lap top. Yes I finally got a new one. My old one was falling apart and going down fast. It was like we were in a race to see if it would die before I got the new one. The old one was taped together and making cracking sounds and freezing. It was awful trying to write on it. It was only three years old. So sad that it died at such a young age. So I had seen a sale at wal-mart for lap tops for $288.00. Now that price was right up my budget. So I did some research and after reading that it was a good computer, I was hooked to buy one. The sale was on a saturday starting at 8am. So I got up so early and went and met my friend Ro there. She was buying a new flat screen t.v. for her bedroom. Now as you already know I'm so not a morning person. So I haul my ass out of bed, take a shower and head over to wal-mart. And you should also know that I loathe wal-marts. I find them to be so crowded and filled with screaming children and nasty people in socks n sandals. But for $288.00 I was willing to overlook all that and go stand in line. So I meet Ro and I got in line and I was the fourth person in line and felt good. I was scared that I would get up there and they would be all sold out. It was finally 8am and I waited as 2 chunky couples in yes, socks n sandals bought their stuff first. Then it was my turn and I got a brand new no freezing no cracking sounds lap top. Ro bought her tv and then we walked around the store a bit. I felt like I was sleep walking. My bed was calling me from home and I heard it. I finally got back home and crawled into bed. I slept till nearly 2pm. I got up and ate then started to transfer all my pics and files into the new computer. It took awhile but when I was done I shut off the old one. Put it back in its box and into storage it went untill I can have it repaired. And here I sit typing with no weird freezing and no odd sounds coming from my lap top. Lets see what else has been going on here. Not really a whole lot to tell you. I mean I work alot now and come home pretty wiped out. Thats also a reason we havent chatted in sometime. Its just that I really dont have much going on other then work. The jobs going good. I have a new lap top. I just wish I could find Mr Right. I know his ass is out there somewhere. I just wish he would hurry up and find me. Cause I'm sick of looking for him. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I almost forgot to tell you about the sad bar I went to with a friend. My friend C had invited me to a small local bar by the beach. It sounded like fun so I said yes. It was just an off night and I knew I should have stayed home. The bar was just filled with the weirdest people ever. A lesbian in shorts and stripped leg warmers. A man in his early 50's doing a dance that was just jumping up and down and swinging his arms around. Oh and the d.j. was some sad soccer mom with bleached out spikey hair. And I swear she played the same songs over n over n over. It was like being in a time warp. A sad time warp at that. The only guy I liked was str8 and looking for as he put it, hot ladys. So at around 12.30am I headed home. Mr Right sure as hell wasnt at sad bar. Oh someone tell him where I am and fast. So how have you been doing? I promise our next chat wont be so far apart as this one was. Leave me a message letting me know whats going on with you. And if you see my Mr Right. Tell him to hurry up and, Be Near me. Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for Be Near Me. . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way. Blog Header Created By Boris

Stephen Mcguire

2010-11-14T23:55:00.000-08:00

The Get Together

2010-11-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get togethers can be good. And they can be bad. But when they are good, they can be magical. Filled with many twists and turns. You just have to ride them out and let the night take you where it will...... . Hello Carmel Candy. How have you been? I know its been awhile since we last chatted. Thats why I have broken down this chat into 2 parts. Depression got its evil hands on me and had me in a nasty headlock. Just alot going on and it overwhelmed me. I'm still working for the huge company and its going well. Its just that I never know from week to week if I will have a job. There is always this subtle threat that if numbers dont go up. Then the job may not go forward. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I dont feel job security in this job. Oh and Inga 'my new car' has been giving me grief. Just little things that I have to keep taking her in for. She has an appt to get more lil fixes on friday. If they dont get her all pretty and fixed, then its back she goes. Ok so let me tell you about the sunday after halloween. My friend M was in town from new york. I havent seen him in like 3 years. So we were all meeting at the Abbey is west hollywood. I got myself together and off I went. I had told M that he should reserve a table. But he laughed and said it was sunday and it should be quiet, WRONG!!. Since M moved to new york the Abbey was sold to sbe and they have amped up that place. I get out of my car across the street and I hear loud music. I knew right then and there that the place would be crowded. So I walk over and yes indeed it was packed. I finally found M and the rest of the group and I got a big fat cocktail. After the night I had had I really needed one. They had a small table and I found a chair and plopped my ass right down. I hadnt eaten and ordered a bowl of french onion soup. It was good, not great but good. i ordered drink number two and started to feel normal once again. I chatted with M and the others and it was just wonderful. Drink number three came and I was feeling rather good, lol. Ok so picture this. I'm standing atthe bar chatting with M and E and I look across the room 'about 6 feet' and lock eyes with 'drum roll' Mr Grade A himself. He was making out with some really short guy and when he saw me he turned white. He had fucking lied to me. He was about as str8 as a cock in my mouth. I really just laughed to myself about it. I mean I had never at all fallen for him in one little way. I guess he just needed to live out some weird fantasy of being a str8 guy fooling around. Oh some people just make me wanna pull my hair out. Ok so after seeing me he took off like a wet rat jumping ship. Well you know I had to be catty and tell everyone in my group about the poser. So after everyone had been filled in we all shared a good laugh about the gay str8 guy, lol. There we were sitting outside having cocktails and it started to rain. At first it was a light mist and then it came down hard. We moved inside and found a couch with a table. We all just chatted and laughed and I have to tell you I didnt want the day to end. Everyone was feeling hungry so we walked over to a resturant called skewers. We sat down and I swear the hottest waiter came out to take our order. He was about 5ft11. dark short black hair, bedroom brown eyes and really chiseled features with a close gropped gotee. He was middle eastern and I love middle eastern men. They are just always so masculine and sexy. He had a great tattoo on his forearm and I asked him about it. He leaned in to show me and I just melted. He smelt so yummy I swear I wanted to drop to my knees right there and deep throat his cock. So after he walks away I said, oh he could dig for oil on me anytime. Well 2 people at the table spit out their drinks. I always forget what shit spills out of my mouth. We had dinner and I did a mild flirt with the hot waiter all night. Oh he was just a plate of yum that I wanted to taste. But turns out he was str8 and had 2 small children. Well it was fun while it lasted and he sure cheered me the fuck up. So we ate dinner and chatted and we all caught up with each other. We ate dinner and it was just great. Good food with good friends spelled magic to me. It paid and walked around west hollywood. It was still raining and everyone wanted to go into Here lounge. As we got close I saw that the place was jam packed. I hadnt taken a xanax etc so I decided to not go in. I watched as everyone walked in and I went on to my car. It was just such a perfect day that I didnt wanna ruin it by being in a super crowded bar getting pushed and shoved. I drove home and was so happy that I ended it when I did. It was pouring rain so it took me awhile to make it home. I finally got home and changed my clothes and got into bed. Princess soon joined me and we both fell fast asleep. The perfect end to a perfect day. Much Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for The Get Together . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Cry

2010-11-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crying my tears alone. It was a party and I cryed. Tears of sadness and anger. Sometimes things can just build up untill you just need a good cry...... . Hello sunshine. Wow its been awhile since we last chatted. So let me just get to the halloween party I went to. It was called 'monster mash'. It should have been called monster TRASH. Ok so I wasnt in the mood to go. But my friend Danny kept after me to please come to his party. Now we hadnt spoken in awhile since I felt he is just rather self centered. I was worn out from work and hadnt gotten a costume. But I got home and got ready. So I drive up there and it was bumper to bumper hell. It takes me over 30 mins to find parking. I get up to the apt and it was rather sad. Cut up cheese and a half of a bottle of vodka left. People were already falling down drunk and it wasnt pretty. So I go into the kitchen to make myself a drink and it happened. Some nasty queen started in on me. He was pointing at me and just saying the most vile things about me. I was ready to punch his face in. But I thought 'Jayden keep your shit together'. Danny heard his friend and ignored it. I went into the bathroom to compose myself and I just wanted to get out of there. I know if I had stayed I would have slammed that persons head through a wall. I have a nasty temper and I'm trying like mad to control it. So in that spirt I slipped out of the party and left. When I got down to the lobby I ran right into Danny. He yelled out, Jayden where are you going? I just looked at him and smiled and said, Thanks for the invite have a great night, and out the door I went. He sent me a text asking what had happened. I mean its not like he hadnt been standing there and saw the whole thing go down. So I replied and told him what had happened. And I have not heard one fucking word back from him. Not an I'm sorry, NOTHING! So I made a mental note of this and once again removed Danny from my phone and pages etc. I will never allow that person back into my life. I would not allow a guest in my home to be insulted in any way. So his silence spoke volumes to me. I drove home took a shower and went online. Some guy came over and sucked me off and after he left I fell asleep. And that was my groovin halloween party. I have to wonder if Danny had set me up as some sort of sick revenge. I guess I will never know as I have cut Danny out of my life like a nasty sore. So how was your halloween? Please feel free to let me know. I love hearing from you guys. Untill we chat again...... Love Jayden and Princess. . Tune for Cry. . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Johnny Beyer

2010-10-29T00:02:00.001-07:00

Update

2010-10-23T18:05:00.001-07:00

U P D A T E . Update cause I have been gone. I havent written cause I've been slammed. Please dont hate me, It would make me cry. Now start reading before my brain just frys...... . Hello Little fluffy cloud. I know I have been gone awhile 'again'. And I didnt know how long it was till I signed in here and saw that its been over 2 weeks. I have been slammed trying to get my life back on track. I'm back just giving you a tiny little update. I will be doing a full blog sunday night. I'm on my way to a halloween party tonight. I think I'm gonna go as a slutty princess, lol. I have been reaching back out to old friends. Ones I thought maybe had fucked me over. But now looking back I see my hand played a bit in the drama as well. I can only learn from my mistakes and grow as a human being. I hate when someone points a finger at me and says, blah blah blah. I mean ok maybe I fucked up. But I'm human and we make mistakes. I think whats important is the here and now. Not what went down yesterday. So in that spirt I'm trying to repair damage I may have caused in some of my friendships. I know I'm not at 100% blame in every case. But I'm also trying to look the other way in the ones that may have fucked up as well. And to J.P. You really hurt my feelings. And you know why. I will take a ton of photos tonight and post them tomorrow night when I blog. Tomorrow I'm meeting my friend Michael and a few others at the Abbey in weho for lunch. He now lives in new york and I never get to see him anymore. I will take pics there as well. I'm sorry this is so short. But we will really catch up tomorrow night when we chat. I have to run now. Much Love Jayden and Princess. . All materials contained in the Jayden Blog Site are the copyrighted property of Jayden Productions Inc, or affiliated companies and/or third-party licensors. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Jayden Productions Inc. No material from the Jayden Blog Site may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Breathe You In

2010-10-09T21:04:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my beat baby step into my heart. Show me how you feel and show me what I want. If you wanna be the reason I can be the answer.

We can spend the night together watch the world spin by. Let the rhythm take you where you wanna go. Listen to the melody let it take control.

Give yourself to me baby listen to our song. Let the music take us we'll just move along. With you in my life we can fight the world together.

I wanna feel you, I wanna taste the world we found. I wanna feel you, I wanna breathe you in right now......For Mr Perfect.

Hello Starshine.

How are you doing today? I hope all is well n wonderful in your world today. First I must ask where the hell are you? I havent heard from you at all. You dont leave me messages anymore, why?

Is your world up side down, rattle, rattle. I do hope all is ok with you. Last time we chatted it was pouring rain here I think. Oh well let me just tell you about the 3 days of rain we had here.

Sweetie I thought I was gonna have to build a fucking arc. So after the first few days of rain I went and had my new car 'Inga' washed. I park her and go to sleep and guess what?

Oh ya I wake up and its fucking pouring rain once again. Poor Inga was all fucked up. Her clean body was now all mucky and grimy. So I had to put up with a few more days of rain.

And today it was 82 and sunny as hell. Weird fucking weather we are having here. I never know if I should leave the house wearing a fur coat or hot pants, lol.

The job is still there and getting on my nerves. I love what I do. I just dont think the company has realistic goals in sight. And there are so many fucking people with in this company.

I swear they have a person thats just in charge of paper clips. Its micro management at its worst. One person tells you one thing. Then another person tells you something else.

I'm just crossing my fingers, legs, eyes etc that they promote my ass and fast. In the mean time i have started to re send out my resume once again. I just dont see this job being long term.

I think that to many cooks can spoil the pie. And hun, there are half a dozen cooks in that kitchen fighting for the can opener. I'm starting to see more and more halloween stuff going up around the neighborhood.

So I soon have to buy candy for all the lil trick or treaters. Oh and yes I do make them do lil tricks on the porch. Want some candy then sing a lil song or do a lil dance dammit.

Aint no free ride on my porch, M'kay? I have been wanting to buy some new fall clothes. Maybe some great new sweaters etc. But with it now being 82 outside, I'm just not feeling it.

I had to reopen all my windows up today. princess loves sitting in every single window in the house. I have taken to calling her Miss Nosey Pants. She hears someone walking by and bam. She runs to the window to see who it is and what they are doing.

Her lil boyfriend Puss Puss was m.i.a for nearly a whole day yesterday. I let him out at noon friday and he didnt come back till 11am today 'saturday'. When he came in he scarfed down a huge breakfast and has been pretty much sleeping all day.

He did manage to get out of bed for dinner tonight. And now he is sound asleep once again. I call him Mr Lazy Bones. So I have miss nosey pants and mr lazy bones.

I am for sure going out tuesday night. Gonna hit up Mr Blacks at Bardot. I will take a ton of photos as my new phone has a flash on the camera. I'm not sure who else is going but I'm sure I can dig up some people.

I spent yesterday at my aunts house. It was great seeing her and we had dinner and watched a movie. She said someone may be having thanksgiving at their house and I should go.

I dont know if I want to go so I will wait and see. Just as long as I dont have to see twisted sister it should be ok. The idea of having to deal with that nonsense is very off putting to me right now.

Jingle bells my fat ass, lol. Oh x-mas is just around the fucking corner. I'm so not the fan of the hoilday's. But I think you already know this, dont you? How do you feel about the holidays? Let me know, M'kay?

Right now It's time for me to jump out of here and get some shit done. I hope your doing great and all is wondeful with you. Again feel free to leave me a message here. You can do it. Just Take a deep breath and do it. I tell you all my secrets dont I? To Mr Perfect. God I love you to death. I want to lick you from head to toe. I just want to Breathe You In......

Love Jayden and Princess.

Todays Blog is dedicated to Dave who just lost his father. Dave my deepest thoughts and love are with you right now. Love Jayden......

Tune for Breathe You In.

Blog Header Created By Boris.

Jayden

Healing......

Not Getting Enough......

Open Your Box......

C H I C

Unfinished Business......

Angel Love......

I got nine lives like a kitty cat......

Remembering Elizabeth......

Show Me......

Things n Stuff n Stuff n Things......

Fun Times......

Waves Of Change......

UNDERGEAR TAKES OVER TIMES SQUARE

Levi......

Hustle......

Gold......

Ghosts......

My Candy......

All I Ever Wanted......

Johnathan Gorejus Loves Jayden......

Johnathan Gorejus Loves Jayden 2

The Long Tunnel......

You Can Fuck With Me......

Madonna - Erotica

Lions for the Lambs......

I'm Ok......

So alive again......

Fuck!!

Surf Splice Swimwear

Benjamin Godfre

Shayne Ward - No U Hang Up

Let me be me......

Free......

To Mr Perfect......

To Mr Perfect......

Holiday Bondage

We March On

I Like You

The Sun is Down

******Rattle Rattle******

Scritti Politti " Petrococadollar"

Laura Veirs - "I Can See Your Tracks"

Dancing

Thoughts

Just Because

LOVER

aussieBum - Journey

Behind The Scenes Swim 2010 UnderGear

Be Near Me

Stephen Mcguire

The Get Together

Cry

Johnny Beyer

Update

Breathe You In

Rattle Rattle